


Never Coming Home

by Book_Lover93



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Completed, F/M, WW2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-04 14:16:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 34,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5337134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Book_Lover93/pseuds/Book_Lover93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are times in life when you think that nothing lasts forever. In those moments, you just have to live as much as you can. Enjoy everything that life has to offer.<br/>But there are other times, rare ones, where you actually belive, that some things can last forever. That you'll be able to live a normal life. That's the kind of thought that keeps you going. Keeps you alive, fighting. Keeps you grounded. With you're eyes on the target.<br/>I always thought that when this is over, I would get to go back home to Jersey. And I would take her with me. We could buy a house with a white picket fence, have some kids, maybe a dog. Sleep in on Saturdays, have barbecues on Sundays. Make love to eachother, grow old together... That's what I always thought would happen...</p><p> </p><p>I've never been so wrong in my entire life...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Time

Gerard's POV.

August 7th, 1941. New York City. The Air Force Ball.

The first time I layed eyes on Margaret Williams, I thought I was dreaming.

I didn't know who she was at the time, all I knew is that she was stunning. I watched as she entered the ballroom with a couple of more girls, laughing and looking at the men that flooded the room.  
She was wearing a dark blue dress. Her brown hair was swaying as she walked. Her makeup was perfect, her lips were ruby red. It was enchanting, hypnotic even. She was the type of girl you would want to write stories, music, poems, paint her, sculpt her, do anything to try and preserve that beauty, but never succeeding, because nothing could match her looks. She was perfect. And I was staring at her like an idiot.  
"Geraaaaaard? You there buddy?", Ray was waving his hand in front of my face trying to snap me out of it, "Gerard! Wake up dude!"  
"Wh...what?" I say, finally waking up from my daze  
"Where were you? You looked like you were miles away man! What were you looking at?"  
"An angel that descended from heaven..."  
"What? What are you talking about?" Ray laughed  
I look up at him and smile, "Nothing. Come on, let's get ready!"  
I turn around and head backstage where Mikey, Frank and Bob are warming up and tunning their instruments for our performance.  
Ever since the Air Force found out that all five of us played instruments and singed, we've been asked to perform at this type of events. And tonight was no different.  
As the guys continued to get ready to go onstage, my mind kept drifting back to that beauty on the dance floor, with all those men around her, looking at her, and probably craving her. A hint of jealousy struck my heart. I wanted to be the one to ask her to dance, to talk to her and to make her laugh.  
But unfortunately, I had to sing first. I just would have to wait until the other band took over, and then I could make my move.

"Gerard? Are you ready?" Mikey asked  
"Yeah" I answerd, without turning around.  
I took a deep breath and climbed the small steps that led to the stage. I took my place in front of the microphone as the rest of the guys took their places behind me, with their instruments ready.  
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to this years American Air Force Ball." I say on the microphone, making everyone look at me, she included. "I hope y'all have a wonderful evening and that you fine gentlemen aren't to afraid to ask all these lovely ladies to dance! Now let's have some fun!"  
The crowed cheered and applauded. I gave the guys the signal, and the music started. Swing music filled the room. Couples started to make their way on to the dance floor. I started to sing, and watched in jealousy, as a couple of men walked in her direction. They asked her something, but she shook her head and smiled at them. They moved away, with a defeated look. I smiled as I watched her turn back to her drink, and continued talking with her friends.  
"I still have a chance..."  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When the performance was over, we made our way to the bar. I ask for a double whiskey.  
"Geez Gerard! Trying to drown some thoughts our we?" Frank teases  
"Or maybe muster some courage!" Ray says  
The guys all look at him confused and Ray continues,  
"Before the show Gerard was saying how he just saw an angel walking across the dancefloor... I think that's why he's drinking like that! He's trying to get the nerve to go and talk to her!"  
"Is that true Gee?" Mikey askes, leaning on the counter to look at me  
The bartender serves me my drink, and I shug it down in one sip, the alcohol burning my throat, "I don't know what you're talking about..."  
"Aww come on Gee! Tells us who is she!" Frank says  
"Yeah come on Gerard!" Bob adds  
"Since when are you afraid to talk to a girl?! You're a ladies man Gee, you can have any girl you want!" Mikey says  
"Not this girl... She's different..." I say, not looking at them, but signaling the bartender to fill my glass again  
"Different how?! She's a girl! And just like every girl around here, all you need to do is look at her, and she'll fall at your feet!" Bob says, "It's almost never wracking to see! We all have to work to get the girls, but all you need to do is walk up to them!"  
I don't answer. I take a sip from my drink, and continue to look straight ahead. Maybe if I ignore them, they'll go away.  
"Come on guys, let's leave him alone, I've got some friends I would like to introduce to you... Some girl friends... Some nurse girl friends..." Mikey says, an evident smile on his voice  
"Well I didn't you say this sooner?! Lead the way Mikey boy!" Frank says with excitment.  
Frank and Bob follow Mikey, but Ray places a hand on my shoulder and leans in so he doesn't has to speak loudly,  
"Take it easy on the scotch... We all know you can't handle your liquor, and if you really want to talk to the girl, making a drunken fool of yourself, isn't the best idea...", he squeezes my shoulder and walks away to join Mikey, Frank and Bob, who are talking to a group of girls standing in the corner of the room.  
The bartender comes back and asks me if I want another double. I think about it, but end up ignoring Ray's advice.

After five more more glasses of whiskey, I feel nothing. The music, the lights and the voices, are a swirl around me.  
I try to get up, but soon realize that my legs don't have the strenght to hold me. I try to balance myself by holding a chair. That works a little. I start to walk but I bump into some chairs, and I think I bumped into some girls as well. I'm trying to make my way over to her. She's still there, talking with her friends, looking absolutely perfect.  
I'm almost there, I can hear her laughter. Her voice sounds like music, beautiful music.  
Suddenly, something bumps into me and I fall face down on the floor. I hear glasses breaking, chairs falling and people gasping in surprise.  
I try to get back up, but a wave a nausea creeps in. My head spins and my stomach turns. I open my mouth and everything comes out.  
Disgusted gasps are heard all around me. Then there are footsteps running, and someone calling my name. I think it's Mikey, but I can't be sure. My vision is blurred and all I can see is something resembling a skinny face with glasses. Yup, it's Mikey.  
I feel more hands grabbing my arms and lifting me to my feet. The guys try to mak me walk, but I'm to dizzy to even try, so they just drag me out of the ballroom.  
The last thing I remember before I black out in Mikey's and Ray's arms, is she looking at me. She finally looked at me and saw me. But I was too drunk to care...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone :) I'm Mads and this is the first fic I ever posted on AO3. This fic is inspired by both the Ghost Of You video and the movie Pearl Harbor. I really hope you enjoy this and let me know what you think :) 
> 
> If you like, you can also follow me on,   
> Wattpad: @BookwormMads  
> Twitter: @BookwormMads  
> Tumblr: bookwormmads 
> 
> Stay Safe Killjoys :)


	2. Just My Luck

August 8th, New York, Air Force Academy

Gerard's POV.

 

"Well Lieutenant Way, you really did outdone yourself this time..."  
The voice sounded far away. It was like I was at the bottom of a well and someone was talking with me from above.  
I tried to open my eyes, but it was too painful. I groaned at the sound of that annoying voice and tried to ignore it. Maybe I was dreaming.  
Someone pulled my covers back, "Oh no you don't! You're already late for briefing! Get you're drunken ass out of that bed!"  
It was Mikey. Mikey was the one trying to get me out of bed.  
"Wait a second. Bed? How am I in bed? How did I get here?"  
I try to open my eyes again. When I finally manage, I realize that I'm actually in bed, in the officers dorm. I still have the same clothes I had last night, but no shoes. I try to get up, but my head spins and I give up laying my head on the pillow again.  
"What happened?" I ask Mikey, my voice was hoarse  
"You made a fool of yourself again, that's what happened." He sounded angry, "Now get up and get ready. You need to be in the briefing in 5 minutes."  
"Briefing?" I try to wrap my head around what was going on. I look over at the big clock in the wall in front of my bed. It says 5.55am. Briefing and training starts at 6.  
"Fuck!!" I moan and jump out of bed, immediately regretting my actions, as my head starts spinning again and I feel like I'm about to throw up.  
"I'll wait for you in the conference room. Hurry up." Mikey says, turning around and leaving.  
I can't bring myself to look at him. He's mad at me, I don't need to look at him to know it.  
I walk to the bathroom, trying to keep my balance by grabbing the closest sink. I stare at myself in the mirror, I look like shit.  
Bits and pieces of last night start to come back and I remember what happend. I got waisted trying to find my courage to go and talk to the girl in the blue dress.  
"Why did I do that?" I think to myself, "I'm normally so confident around girls. Why did I feel that this one was different?"  
I had no way of answering that question. For some unknown reason, I felt that that girl wasn't going to be easy to talk to. Something about her told me that she wasn't like the other girls.  
I spalsh some water on my face, trying to wake up. I still look horrible, I don't think that even a shower could cure the gigantic hungover I was feeling right now. Nevertheless, no harm in trying.

I showerd and dressed as fast as I could. The memories of last night were no clearer in my mind and all I could think about was how stupid I've must have looked.  
"You're an idiot! A complete and utter idiot! You're probably never gonna see that girl again and you lost your chance by getting to know her, by getting drunk off your ass! Fucking idiot!"  
I did the knot on my tie, and stared at myself in the mirror. My uniform was spotless, but I still looked like I've been beaten and kicked and thrown around.  
"Well..." I sighed, "At least I won't see her again, I won't have to go through the enbarresment of knowing that she saw me puke right in front of her..."  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

6:20am. Twenty minutes late. I'm going to get my ass kicked by my commanding officer and I knew it.  
I try to enter the conference room as silently and invisible as I can, but a voice from the front reveals my presence,  
"Glad you could join us Liutenant! I hope you're feeling better after the little puke show you put on last night..." Captain Jackson glares at me. If looks could kill, I would have been dead by now.  
I don't answer, I just stare at him and swallow my own saliva, trying to think of something to say. I open my mouth but he snaps at me, "Sit your ass down now!"  
He doesn't have to ask me twice. I walk over to where Mikey, Frank, Ray and Bob are sitting and sit down between Ray and Frank, trying to avoid Mikey's evil glares at me, at all costs.  
"As I was saying, before Liutenant Way's interruption, today you're all going to meet our new liaison to Washington. She will be our connection and information provider of everything regarding what's happening in Europe. She's also going to be your new instructor. As part of her job, she spend some years in Japan, also as a government liaison between the two countries. She has learned a lot of valuable information about the enemies plan and machinery, planes included. When the war broke out, she had a price on her head, but our government pulled her out in time. That's why she's here. She's going to tell you everything about those planes. Apparently, there are this type of modern machinery that has never been seen before. She's going to teach you how to fly against them, out maneuver them, and bring them down."  
A small knock on the door made the captain interrupt his speach. The door opens and everyone turns around to see who just came in.  
"Ah Miss Williams," the captain says, "Please come in, I was just telling them about you."  
The door closes, and I hear steps coming up to the front. A woman passes by me. She was wearing black high heels and a dark grey dress. Her hair was brown and wavy, but it was covering her face on the side I was looking. She looked young. Very young. Probably even younger than me. But that hair... Why does she look familiar, without even seeing her face.  
She walks to the front, and shakes the captains hand, "I'm sorry I'm late captain, but an important phone call from Washington came through for me."  
"No matter, I was just telling the men, what will be your job here. But I guess you can explain better than me. So please..." He gestured her to take his place and sat down behind a small desk in the corner of the room.  
The woman turned around to face us and removed the hair out of her face with her hand.  
My heart dropped, and my stomach turned again, making me feel nauseated again. It was her. The Angel from last night. The girl I was so desperate to talk to but ended up making a complete fool of myself.  
I tried to hide my face, sinking into my chair and placing my hand on my forehead. I tried to make myself as invisible as humanly possible.  
"Good morning gentlemen. My name is Margaret Williams. I'm the new Washington Liaison Agent for the academy. My job here is quit simple. Teach you everything there is to know about what you're up against. And may I tell you right now, you're up against a lot. My job will be to teach you how to fight the enemy. That's it. Nothing more, and nothing less. I will also be giving you information about what is happening across the Atlantic. The world is a mess right now, and even though the United States have not yet declared war, our government insist on the preparation of our forces. During my time here, I will also make weekly reports to Washington about what's happening inside of this academy, and the level of preparation of all pilots in it. Those of you I consider fit and ready for combat, will be given the chance to join the RAF in England for support, as they are in desperate need of it. I am not military, but that doesn't mean you'll treat me with less respect as you would a higher ranking officer. You will refer to me as Ma'am or Miss Williams. I am here to teach you gentlemen. Not to be you're friend. Are we cleared?"  
She spoke with so much strenght in her voice, that no one would think that she looked young. She was as tough as any solider, and she clearly wasn't messing around. She stood in front of the conference room, looking like a soldier herself, standing incredibly straight, with her hands behind her back. Her face showed no emotion, not a single sign of doubt or fear.  
The sound of "Yes Ma'am" flooded the room, but I kept quiet, still trying as hard as I could to stay out of sight. I didn't dare look directly at her afraid I might embarrass myself even further then I already had.  
"Liutenant?" She calls, clearly talking to me, but I just pretend that she's not.  
I hear footsteps that stop in front of me. I have no choice but to look up and see her, in all her beauty and strictness looking down at me. When I look up, a flash of emotion crosses her face. It only lasts for a second, but I could swear her lips twitched.  
"When I adress myself to someone, I expect an answer. Is that clear?"  
I swallow dry again, trying to speak. My eyes are wide, and I can feel myself blush. All eyes are on me. I could feel Mikey, Frank, Ray and Bob staring at me, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.  
I clear my throat, trying to speak again. I open my mouth and a small and weak "Yes Ma'am" comes out.  
She stares at me for a second, then turns around and return to the front of the room. I'm still in shock about what just happend.  
"If there aren't any questions," she said addressing the men again, "I inform you that during today, I'll be watching your training and talking to your commanding officers. By the end of the week, the first pilots chosen to go to England will be informed and asked if they want to accept the task. If you have any questions, my office is on the third floor, number 3.4A. You're dismissed."

I run out the door and go outside to catch some air. I light up a cigarette and try to calm myself down.  
She was there. Right there in front of me, talking to me. I wasn't dreaming, that actually just happend. And I made a fool of myself again.  
Now this is just my luck, not only did I get to see my Angel again, I made a complete fool of myself again, and she's my instructor.  
"Fuck! Can this day get any better?"


	3. Do Something!

August 15th. New York, Air Force Academy

Gerard's POV.

It's lunch time, but I have no appetite whatsoever. The mess hall is crowded and especially loud today. I can't even hear myself think. Eventually I give up trying to think about her over and over again and I focus on the conversation that's happening right next to me.  
"I still can't belive the results haven't come out yet! What is she waiting for?" Mikey protested while playing with his food.  
"Maybe she'll anounce them today..." Ray said, also trying to figure out what the hell did they served us to eat today.  
"It's been to long! I want to know the results!" Mikey whined  
"You seem pretty eager to see some fighting little brother..." I say, not even looking at the grey slob that is my food.  
"Aren't we all? There's a reason why we joined the Air Force Gee. We all need to do our share in this war..." He said  
"I thought we joined because of the nurses!" Frank said, pushing his food away with a nauseated look  
"That too." Mikey laughed and so did every men at the table.  
Over the the past week, Margaret... Miss Williams, has been watching our trainings, taking notes and talking to our captain. She hardly even looks at us. Even when we're in class with her, she hardly looks at anyone. Given that were all sitting in a dark room while she's showing us the pictures of the japs planes. Pictures that she took, while she was there. No wonder she had a price on her head, those pictures where highly detailed.  
She said that the first announcement of the chosen pilots to go to England would happen today. But lunch time is almost over, and the results still haven't come out. Maybe that's why everyone is on edge.

"ATTEN-HUT!"  
The command breaks my trail of thought as we all rush to get up from our seats and salute the high ranking officer that just entered the mess hall. It's Captain Jackson, and behind him walks Margaret. She looks even more beautiful than she did yesterday, or the day before.... "God, how I wish I could just touch that perfect skin... Stroke her hair... Hold her hand... Touch her...." I mentaly slap myself, "Get a hold of yourself! She thinks you're an idiot! And she's a classy girl! She would never would want to be with a drunk flyboy!"  
"As you were gentlmen." Captain Jackson says looking at us.  
We all take our seats but remain silent. The captain is in front of a small podium and looks like he is about to speak. Sure enough,  
"I'm here to inform you, that after a week of observation and careful consideration, the first 5 pilots have been selected to go to England. If, for any reason, the selected pilot refuses to take his place, another will take it for him and the other pilot will loose the opportunity. There will be no re-selection. If you're chosen, you either go, or you don't. End of story. Miss Williams has the list, and she will be announcing it now."  
The captain steps aside and let's Miss Williams take his place. Once again, she speaks clearly and strictly.  
"Good afternoon gentlmen. All those who are called will stand up and follow me to my office for further discussion and preparation. The first five are Liutenants: Michelson, Jack; Peterson, Andrew; Toro, Raymond; Brendon, Richard; Way, Michael James. Those of you who weren't yet selected, we'll have a chance of that happening next week. Thank you."

My heart sunk in my chest when I heard Mikey's and Ray's name being called. I watched them both get up and walk to the front on the mess hall with the other pilots.  
Mikey looks over at me before he leaves. His eyes are filled with excitement. But my feelings are completely different. I'm terrified. I can't let him go alone. Sure he has Ray, but Mikey and I have never been separated. And there's also the chance that I won't be selected. I can't let this happen. Mikey can't go to England on his own. I'll have to do something about it.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Training was over for the day and everyone was downstairs in the mess hall for dinner. Me on the other hand, was somewhere else interiorly, I was making my way over to Miss Williams office.  
My heart was pumping so loud it was almost jumping out of my chest. I couldn't belive I was doing this, but I needed to do something about Mikey. He couldn't go to England on his own.  
I reached her door and my body froze. "Boy that was quick." I thought. Little did I know that instead of walking, I ran to her office.  
My hand was shaking as I lifted to knock on the door. I took a deep breath and did so, secretly hoping that no one would answer, that maybe she was downstairs having dinner.  
"Come in" she said from the inside of her office  
"Fuck" I thought  
I took another deep breath and opend the door. She was sitting at her desk, piles of files coverd it and she was writing something. Her head was down and her hand moved quickly across the paper.  
I cleared my throat a bit so I would capture her attention. She lifted her head to look at me. She was wearing a pair of small reading glasses. The sight was a surprise for me, but she still looked as beautiful then ever. Although I did thought she looked a bit geeky. I had to stop myself from smiling.  
"Yes Liutenant, how can I help you?" She said. She didn't smile or show any type of emotion.  
"I... I'm..." I stutter a bit, but cleared my throat and tried again, "I'm sorry to disturb you Ma'am, but I needed to talk to you about today's selection. I'm..."  
"I know who you are Liutenant Way, and I also know why you're here." She interrupted me  
I stared at her in surprise. "She knows my name! She knows who I am!" Inside my head I was jumping with happiness and excitement, until I remembered why she recognized me, "Oh shit... She knows who I am..."  
"You're here because of your brother. Aren't you?" She asked when she noticed I didn't answer the first statement  
"Y-yes Ma'am..."  
"Well I'm sorry to tell you Liutenant, but there's nothing you can do about it. You're brother has been selected and he has accepted his task. He will be flying to England in three days."  
"Ma'am... Please... He's just a kid. He's not ready for action! He doesn't know what he's getting himself into! Let me go in his place! Tell him that you reconsiderd you're selection, tell him..."  
"Liutenant, stop." She interrupted, sighing and taking off her glasses, "I understand you're concern, but at this point, there's nothing, either of us can do. I wasn't even the one to select him. You're captain did."  
"My... My captain? He chose Mikey? Why?"  
"He said that he would be a good selection. That he was eager to do his job and that he was a good pilot. I agreed with him on that part."  
"He's a child! He doesn't know what he's doing half the time! Please Miss Williams, don't do this! At least let me go with him!"  
"I'm sorry Liutenant. All the pilots selected today accepted the task at hand. You'll just have to wait for the next selection..."  
"Can you assure me, that I'll be in the next selection?"  
"No... No I can't... You just need to do, what you were taught to do. Fly..."  
I could see that there was no fighting her in this matter. But I wasn't going to give up. If she wouldn't let me go with Mikey now, then I needed to do everything possible for her to select me in the next round.  
"I'm sorry that I disturbed you Ma'am..." I say, saluting her and turning around to leave  
"Liutenant..." She called  
I turned around to face her as she was standing up from behind her desk. God she was beautiful...  
"I understand you're worried about him... Belive me I do. But the best thing to do now is support him. I talked to him. He's happy to go. As his brother all you need to do is encourage him... Not pass you're worries to him. If he sees that you're scared, then he'll be scared too..." Something changed in her voice when she spoke. She didn't look as the strong woman that normally stood in front of me, she looked fragile now, and almost sad and hurt... I resisted the sudden urge I felt to hold her.  
"He's my baby brother... I'll always worry about him..." I stated, looking at the ground, smiling an little bit at the thought of a small Mikey and a small Gerard playing in the backyard of our house, pretending to be pilots.  
When looked up again, she was smiling at me too.


	4. I can´t let you go...

I can't let you go

August 18th, New York, Air Force Academy.

Gerard's POV.

I didn't want to let go of Mikey. I hugged him so tightly that after a few minutes, he said that he was running out of breath so I had to let go. We both had tears in our eyes as we stared at eachother. There was no need for words. We both new what we were thinking.  
All five of us were standing next to the plane that in a few minutes, Mikey and Ray would board and go to England.  
I was terrified, different scenarios of what might happen over there were rushing through my mind. I haven't slept since the announcement.  
"C'mon Gerard, don't be like that!" Mikey said, placing his hands on my shoulders,"you'll be there with us before you know it! There's no way they won't select you!"  
"Besides, I'll be there to look after him!" Ray said, smiling at me.  
"I know you will buddy..." I said, forcing myself to smile but not quite able to.

"Attention! All extra personnel, clear the runway. Take-off 5 minutes." Said a voice on the loud speakers.  
I watched as Frank and Bob hugged and said goodbye to Mikey and Ray. I hugged Ray wishing him good luck, then turned to Mikey and hugged him one last time.  
"Write! You have to promise to write me every week! I want to know about everything that happens out there! Please!" I ask him, not being able to control my tears any longer  
"I will, I promise! I'll be fine Gerard!" Mikey tighten his hug and then let go.  
I took a step back and watched as Mikey and Ray picked up their backpacks and walked towards the plane. As they climbed the stairs, they turned around to wave at us. We waved back and left the runway.

5 minutes later, Frank, Bob and myself, we're staring out the windows watching the plane that took Mikey, Ray and three other pilots, in the direction of a war, that we all wanted to be a part of, but were to scared to face the consequences of it.  
"I guess we should go back. It's almost lunchtime and the Captain said that he and Miss Williams had new information about what's going on out there." Frank said, trying to make me snap out of my dark thoughts. It didn't work.  
"You guys go ahead... I'll catch up..." I said, not even looking at them.  
I hear Frank sigh and turn around to leave. Before Bob follows him, he places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes it a bit, trying to confort me. Then he leaves.

I was alone. Staring at the place where the plane stood, just a few minutes ago. Now an empty parking space. Mikey was gone, and possibly not coming back.  
I had no idea if I would ever see him again. I didn't know if I would ever get chosen. The thought of not seeing my brother again made me sick. And in the midst of all the dark thoughts about war and death and lost, there was one that stood taller than the others. One that I was glad it came, because it was exactly what I needed at that moment,  
"I need a drink."  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was sitting at the counter of a sleazy bar, outside the Academy. I've been here almost four hours now, not caring that I skipped training and breifing. I just stood there, not moving, and staring at the same drink I ordered four hours ago and didn't even touch it yet.  
Scotch, straight. My kind of drink. The idea that all the dark thoughts would just go away just by drinking a few of those, was incredibly tempting. However, all I could think about is how upset Mikey got when I drank. But the thought of Mikey just made me feel even worse.  
After so many hours of not moving, I finally reached for the glass and brought it to my lips.  
"Liutenant Iero told me I might find you here..." A soft female voice said behind me.  
The glass stopped, touching my lips. I didn't need to turn around to know who it was. I would recognize that voice miles away and in any dream.  
I lowerd the glass and sighed, "Then Liutenant Iero is not very good at keeping secrets..."  
"He is... I'm the one that's very good at persuading people..." She took a few steps and was standing next to me leaning against the counter.  
I didn't look at her directly, but I could see that she was wearing a dark green dress.  
"How many have you had already?" She asked  
"What do you care?"  
"I care, because I know what happens when you get drunk..." She said.  
"That's his first one. Hasn't touched yet! Been sitting there for hours just staring at it!" The bartender shouted from the other side of the bar.  
I looked over and glared at him. Next to me, Margaret chuckeld, "I guess you and I thought the same thing then..."  
I finally looked up to see her. She was staring right at me with her big dark brown eyes. She had a small smile on her dark ruby red lips. I couldn't help but think how much I wanted to touch those lips...  
"How about we go back to the academy? Clearly you're not doing anything here..." She said  
"I would like to finish my drink first..." I answered, pointing at the glass.  
She looked down at it, then back at me. Before I could react, she grabbed the glass from my hand and in one swift movement, she swallowed the drink like a shot.  
My eyes widened when I saw the drink dissapear in a matter of seconds. Her cheeks were flushed by the sudden amount of alcohol, but she held it down, "There. Now you're finished."  
Still surprised about what happend, I stood up, payed for the drink and followed her to the exit.  
When we stepped outside, it was no surprise for me, that the sun was already setting.  
"How did you get here?" She asked, standing next me but looking over at the parking lot.  
"I walked..."  
She looked over at me and raised an eyebrow, questioning if I was telling the truth. Eventually she sighed and started walking towards a jeep from the academy. When she saw that I wasn't following her, she turned around to face me,  
"Would you like to walk again? Or do you prefer a ride?"  
I smilled a bit and walked over to her.

The ride back to the academy was silent. Neither of us knew exactly what to say.  
When we reached the academy, she drove in the direction of the dormitories and parked at the door.  
Before I could thank her for the ride, she looked over at me and spoke,  
"I know it's hard. Letting your brother go while you stay behind. I get it. Belive me I do. But drinking your problems away, or trying to, isn't the most helpful thing in the world you know?"  
I didn't answer. I just stared at her, wondering why she cared if I had problems and what did I do to overcome them.  
"You just have to belive that you'll see your brother again. That he'll come back..." She continued  
"But we can't be sure now, can we? There's no certainty that he'll be alright..."  
"Do you trust him? Do you think he's a good pilot?"  
"I do..."  
"Then trust that he'll do his job, and come back. If you doubt him, then he will doubt himself. But if you belive in him and trust him to know what he's doing... Then he will belive that he's capable of surviving this..."  
We stared at eachother, not knowing what else to say. I knew that what she told me was the truth, but at this point, my fears weren't going anywhere.  
"Thank you for the ride..." I sighed and opend the door.  
I didn't stop to hear if she said anything else. All I wanted right now, was a good night sleep.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

September 25th, New York, Air Force Academy.

Gerard's POV.

"To Liutenant Way, Gerard Arthur.  
We regret to inform you that on the 20th of September, Liutenant Way, Michael James. was reported MIA, and presumed KIA, after an attack on the Oxford Air Base.  
More information will be provided as more details of this attack are reviled."

I dropped to my knees when I read the telegram. There were people hovering me, asking what happend, but I couldn't answer. I felt empty. Lost. He... Was... Missing... and presumed dead...  
There was only one person that could tell me if this is true.  
I got up and ran to her office, leaving everyone behind me, shouting my name and asking questions.  
I held the telegram as tightly as I could as I rushed to her office, not even bothering to knock when I reached it.  
She was standing behind her desk, holding a paper similar to mine. When she looked over at me I could see that she was crying.  
"Ger..." She started, but I inturrepted  
"Is this true?!" I snapped  
"I... I..."  
"Answer me!!" I shout, "Is my brother dead?"  
"I... I don't know... They haven't said anything else... I just heard the news... Same as you..."  
"Don't lie to me!" I shout again, throwing the paper on the ground and walking towards her, "You're a government official! You know everything before anyone else! Tell me what you know!! NOW!"  
She cringed as I shouted, but soon regained her composure. Nevertheless, she was still crying, and her voice cracked a bit,  
"I'm not lying to you. I've only got the news. After the attack, communications were down and no one could get any information whatsoever. Only now are the telegrams coming in. The only thing we know, is that a German Air Force attacked the Oxford Air Base before sunrise on the 20th. No one was prepared. They were caught by surprise. There's still no exact data about who's dead and who's just missing, so every telegram send, said the exact same thing as ours. There's a chance... That he's still alive..."  
"What about Ray? Or Frank? Or Bob? Have you heard anything from them?"  
"No... I recived nothing regarding your friends, which only means that they're still alive and accounted for." I paced around the room, listening to her speak. The thougth of a possibility that Mikey was still alive grew inside me. But I needed to be sure. And to do that, there's only one way.  
"I need to go to England." I said, stopping my pacing and facing Maragaret. She froze in place when I spoke and her eyes widen.  
"N...no... You can't... You haven't..."  
"I don't care about the selection! Get me on plane to England by tomorrow, or I'll find a way to get there by myself!"  
"No. No... Y-you can't...you..."  
"It's been a month! Almost half of the Air Force is in England and I'm the only one that's still here! Why?!"  
"B-because I don't t-think..."  
"That's not the reason! I'm the best pilot here and you know it!! There has to be another reason why you won't let me go! Tell me!"  
She looked down at the ground not wanting to look at me. I started getting frustrated so I went around her desk to stand next to her. I grabbed her by her arms and forced her to look at me.  
"Tell me! Why wont you let me go to England?! Answer me Maragaret!"  
She looked up at me still with tears in her eyes. She spoke quietly, almost like she didn't want me to hear what she was saying,  
"B-because I can't let you go... I don't want you to go... I-I'm to scared o-of what might happen... I c-can't loose you... Not you too..."  
At first, I thought I was dreaming. The idea that she would ever say something like that to me, was absurd. But at the same time, I exploded with happiness on the inside. And the only way I could express it, was by leaning down, and connecting my lips to hers. Her lips were salty from her tears, but the touch made me shiver with pleasure.  
The pleasure grew even more, when she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled herself closer to my body... She was kissing me back


	5. Come back to me

September 26th, New York, Air Force Academy

Gerard's POV.

I'm trying to pack as quickly as possible. My flight is scheduled to depart in 30 minutes.  
Scattered across my bed are a number of shirts, pants, socks, boxers, anything I could get a hand on and stuff in my bag.  
Margaret was able to get me on a plane to England saying that due to the attack, the more pilots go to England to help, the better.  
I'm stuffing things inside my backpack, trying to hurry up, but the memories of last night keep coming back to my mind. Her lips... Her touch... The way she said my name...

 

*last night*

She was kissing me back and I couldn't belive it. It felt like a dream. I needed to be sure that this was actually happening. I pulled away, leaving my hands in her arms,  
"Say it again... Please... I need to hear it..."  
She looks up at me confused, but then understands what I meant.  
"I don't want to let you go. I can't let you go..." She said  
"Don't say something like that if it isn't true..."  
"It's the truest thing I've said in my life... I don't want you to leave me... I can't stand the thought of you in danger! It kills me to know that something might happen to you and I'll never see you again..."  
"I didn't you say something sooner?"  
"Because I never thought you'd feel the same way..."  
"Are you kidding me? I've been crazy about from the first time I saw you! The moment I laid eyes on you I felt like I was..."  
"Dreaming?"  
"Yes..."  
"I felt the same way when I saw you on stage... I fell in love with you the moment I saw you... I know it's silly, and that I shouldnt say this, but it's true. I love you so much it hurts..."

Hearing her say those things made my heart race. She still had tears in her eyes and her cheeks were flushed, but she was still the most perfect thing I've ever seen in my life.

"Can you say it again?" I ask her. The way she speaks sounds like music to my ears. And the fact that she's saying the words I've been longing to hear, I can't get enough of them.  
"What?" She askes  
"The last thing you said, just now... I need to hear it again... I want to make sure that I'm not dreaming..."

She smiles and places her hands on both sides of my face. Her thumb caresses my cheeks and she stands on the tip of her toes so that her lips are aligned with mine.  
She closes her eyes and gently brushes her lips on mine and places a small kiss on my growing smile.  
"I love you Gerard..." She whispers against my lips.  
The way she says my name sends shivers down my spine. I let go of her arms and wrap my arms around her waist, hoisting her, so that her feet aren't touching the ground.  
"I love you Margaret... Since the first day I saw you..." I say, as her lips brush against mine.  
She opens her eyes and looks straight at me. Our faces are completely aligned, and so close I can almost feel her eyelashes brush my cheeks.  
The way she looks at me takes me over the edge. The little self control I had dissapeard as I crushed my lips in hers, deepening the kiss and making her gasp in surprise. Soon after, she kisses me back and it's my turn to be surprised at the hunger she shows trying to kiss me harder.  
Our bodies are so close, I'm afraid that she might feel the sudden bulge that is growing in my pants. But I can't help it, the way she's kissing is driving me insane.  
All of a sudden she breaks the kiss, leaving me confused and my body begging for more,  
"We can't do this here..." She says, gasping for breath, "Someone might come in..."  
I look at her confused as she grabs my hand and turns around, pulling me to the door and opening it.  
She stucks her head out and looks both ways before pulling me behind her down the hallway.  
We climb the stairs to the 5th floor, the high ranking officers rooms.  
She looks back at me and places one finger over her lips, telling me to be quiet.  
I role my eyes and smile at her, making an obvious look that I'm going to be quiet. She smiles back and pulls me again.  
We reach the end of the hallway, to the last room at the end. She pulls a small key from her pocket, unlocking the door and pulling me inside.  
When we get in, she lets go of my hand and turn around to lock the door again.  
I look around at the room, realizing that it's no different from any Liutenants room. A small bed, a nightstand, a closet, a desk and a small bathroom.  
On top of her bed are a number of pieces of clothing. It looks like she had trouble deciding what to wear this morning. I smile at the thought. Her nightstand has a couple of books, piled on eachother. On her desk are stacks of files and lost papers. But right in the middle of it, leaning against the wall is a picture. It shows a younger Margaret laughing as she's picked up in bridal style by a young man, also laughing. He has copper hair and is very thin. He looks as young as Margaret does. He's wearing a pilots uniform and she's wearing his bonnet. But what's next to the picture it's what makes my heart sink. A Purple Heart.

"Your boyfriend?" I ask, making her turn around to face me.  
When she turned around she was smiling, but when she saw what I was looking at, her face dropped into the saddest look I've ever seen.  
"My brother... Twins actually..." She says  
"He was a flyboy..."  
"He was..."  
"What happend?"  
"He went to England as well... The Luftwaffe shot him out of the sky..."  
"I'm sorry..." I say. I walk towards her taking her hands in mine and locking eyes with her  
"This is why I don't want you to go... I already lost my brother... I can't loose you too..."  
"And what about Mikey? What about my brother? I can't leave him... I need to find out what happend... And if he's still..."  
"I know... And I know that's selfish of me to keep you here... But my fear spoke louder than my actions..."

I cupp her face with my hands and stroke her cheeks gently. The idea that she cares for me so much that she won't let me go doesn't make me mad at all. It makes me love her even more.

"I have to go Margaret... We both know it..."  
She lowers her gaze to the floor and nods. Tears start falling from her eyes and fall on my skin. I wrap my arms around her and hug her tightly. She does the same. I let her cry for a moment hearing her sob quietly against my chest, her tears soaking my shirt.

For a moment none of us move, but after a while I feel her arms raising towards my neck and wrapping around them as she stands in the tip of her toes. She buries her head in my neck and takes a deep breath. She starts to brush her lips against it and I shiver at her touch.  
I pull her away from my neck so I can see her face. Her eyes sparkle in the dim lighting of the room, and they have a look in them I've never seen before in her. I pull her closer to me and kiss her gently and softly. Her lips move in sync with mine and she drops her hands from my neck to my chest. I feel her fingers fidgeting with the buttons on my shirt as she starts to undo them one by one.  
With one arm I hold her close and with my other hand I try and look for the zipper on the back of her dress. When I do, I pull it down slowly, giving it time to see if she'll change her mind about this. But when I see that my shirt is fully open, I pull the zipper down the rest of the way and grab the shoulder hem and start to pull it off.  
Our lips are still connected as she pulls my shirt off and her dress falls to our feet leaving her in nothing but llingerie in front of me. The sight of her body makes me feel aroused and the already growing bulge in my pants hardens fully and begins to twitch.  
I drop my hands to her tighs and hoist her up so she can wrap her legs around my waist and carry her to the bed. As I lay her softly on top of he covers, she pushes the clothes that layed there to the floor with one hand and grabs the back of my neck with the other, pulling me on top of her.  
Trying not to crush her, I lean on one elbow as the other hand tries to find a way to undo her bras. When she realizes that I'm having troubles with it, she chuckels against my lips and reaches behind her back, pulling my hand away and doing it herslef. The bras snaps open and she pulls it away, exposing her breasts.  
I break the kiss to look down at her body. She is the most perfect woman I've ever seen in my life. Every curve of her body makes me want to kiss it and touch it, her silky skin teasing me.  
I look into her eyes and she has a look of passion in them. She wants this to happen as much as I do.  
The idea that she loves me as well is still incredulous to me. But the way she looks right now prevents me for dwelling on the thought much longer. So I kiss her again.  
Our kisses became deeper and more passionate when I feel her hands lowering to my waist and try to undo my belt and the button of my pants.  
A lot more swiftly, and with much more ease than me trying to undo her bras, she unbottons my pants and pushes them down. I reach down to help her,shaking my legs and pushing the pants off when they reach my ankles. I notice that that I still have my boots on, so I have to break the kiss and get off of her in order to undo my boots. As I sit on the edge of the bed, cursing at myself of not thinking about this sooner, Margaret sits up and pulls her knees to her chest and wraps her arms around them, covering her body. She places one cheek on her knees and stares at me as I try to hurry up.  
When I'm finally finished, I turn around to face her. She's looking at me with loving eyes. I lean down and place a small kiss on her nose making her smile. She lets go of her legs and wraps her arms around my neck pulling me closer.  
We return to our previous position of me being on top of her and laying on the bed.  
I move my hands to her waist and start playing with the hem of her underware asking for permission to pull it off. As I do this, she moves her hands to my boxers and pushes them down. I do the same thing with her panties.  
We are now both completely naked. I'm still trying not to crush her underneath me, but she pulls me closer and I lay completly on top of her, our bodies touching.  
I can feel her heart race through her chest. A shiver goes down my spine at the thought of what's going to happen next.  
She pulls away from the kiss to look at me. Without even saying a word, I know what she means.  
I look down and grab myself, positioning myself at her entrance. I look up at her again and she kisses me softly. I take it as a "Yes" and I push myself inside of her slowly.  
At the movement, she gasps with pleasure and her head tilts back a bit. When I'm completly inside of her I take a moment to let her adjust. One of my hands is on the mattress next to her and she takes my hand in hers and squeezes it, telling me to go on.  
I start to move slowly, not wanting to hurt her. She locks her eyes with mine and her look makes me go faster.  
The pleasure starts to overcome us and she starts to moan soflty. I lean down to kiss her again and she crushes her lips into mine, with a hunger I didn't expect. I push myself inside her harder and faster with each kiss. When I hit her sweet spot, she moans loudly against my lips. The sound of her moaning makes me moan as well. I continue to aim at the same spot and her moans grow louder and deeper.  
My hips thrust harder a few more times hitting her sweet spot. When she comes, she moans out my name and squeezes my hand so tightly that her fingernails draw blood on my skin. I come right after her, a shiver going through my length and making me feel weak.  
I lay on top of her, gasping for breath and with my head on her neck. She lets go of my hand and places it on the back of my head, stroking my hair gently as her other hand caresses my back. She places soft kisses in my temple and I close my eyes, enjoying the sweetness of her scent and the softness of her lips on my neck.  
When I finally catch my breath, I pull myself from inside her and lay down on my side next to her. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her closer. She turns to her side as well and we just stare at eachother.  
After a while, her eyes start to close with sleep. She cuddles herself closer and leans her head on my chest.  
"I love you..." She whispers, falling asleep afterwards.  
"I love you too..." I whisper back, kissing her hair.  
Trying not to wake her up, I try and pull the covers over us so she won't be cold. When I finaly succeed, I sigh with happiness. This just happend. The woman of my dreams is sleeping next to me after we just made love. And she also feels the same way...  
I close my eyes and fall asleep in absolute bliss.

The sun wakes me up when the first rays of dawn appear through the window.  
I open my eyes and look around me. I don't recognize the room I'm in.  
A body stirs next to me and I look down to see Margaret sleeping peacefully against my chest, with my arms wrapped around her.  
I smile when the memories of last night come back.  
I lean down to kiss her forehead and she stirs again, opening her eyes one at the time.  
"Morning..." I say  
"Morning..." She says, her voice full of sleep. She tilts her head back so she can look at me properly, "So last night..."  
"Yes... It really happend..."  
"Good." She says yawning, "I thought I dreament it..."  
"No... You didn't..." I smile at her and kiss her forehead again.  
Suddenly, her faces changes from happiness, to sadness, "Then... It also means... That you have to go to England..."  
My heart drops at the memory of my lost brother. Alone and probably hurt somewhere across the Atlantic, "Yes... I have too...".  
She sighs with sadness and nods, "okay... Then I should go and take care of it..."  
She pulls away from my arms and gets out of bed. I watch her walk across the room and reach the closet. She pulls a pair of black trousers and a white blouse. She places them on top of the bed at my feet and turns to face me, "You should go and get ready too... Before the officers start to wake up..."  
I nod and pull myself out of bed. Before I can even start to collect my clothes, she rushes towards me and hugs me, "I love you... And I'm glad I got to tell you that before you go..."  
I wrap my arms around her tightly hugging her back, "I love you too..."

*present*

I only notice that I froze in place with a shirt on my hand when I hear a small knock on the door.  
I shake my head, waking up from my daze, "Come in".  
The door opens and Margaret steps inside.  
"What are you doing here?" I ask her, surprised to see her, "What if someone sees you?"  
"I wanted to say goodbye without anyone staring at us... I also wanted to give you this...", she places a leatherbound book in my hands, "It's a diary... I know that you want be able to write me every week... So this way you can write down everything that happens, and then I'll read it... When you get back...", tears start falling from her eyes and she chokes a bit on her last words.  
I grab her hand and pull her closer to me, "I will comeback. Don't think that now that I have you, I'm going to loose you... You won't get rid of me that easily Miss Williams..."  
"I surely hope not Liutenant Way..." She says smiling  
"I love you Mags... I promise, I will comeback to you..."  
"Mags?" She chuckels at the nickname  
"Don't like it?"  
"Not used to it..."  
"Too bad... I think it suits you." I smirk at her and she chuckels again.  
"Promise me you'll come back! Even if you don't write, you need to comeback to me!" She says, starting to cry again.  
"Not only will I write you every week, I will comeback. We will have a normal life. And I will court you properly! I will make up for the ball where I got drunk and threw up at your feet. I'll make your fall in love with me properly, and I'll take you dancing, and to the pictures, and we shall be a normal couple!"  
She hugs me tightly and leans her head on my chest, "I'll be looking forward to that..."  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You'll be landing in London and then driven to Oxford, since the airstrip there was completely ruined from the bombs." The Captain breefs me and the rest of the pilots boarding the plane, "When you reach the Air base, you will report to Captain Watson who will be your commanding officer once you're there."

I give up listening to the rest of the breafing and look around the airstrip for any signs of Margaret. I know she's not suppose to come here, but I was hoping I'd get to see her one last time before I board, even if it is from a distance. But she's nowhere to be seen.

The he breafing ends and the Captain wishes us good luck. We all start to board the plane and take our seats. I take the one with a window.  
"Man I wish Miss Williams would have come to say goodbye to us! Now there's a girl I wouldn't mind having wating for me to comeback!" One of the pilots says  
"Definitely! She's the kind of girl I would do anything for! Even defect!" Says another  
"Don't joke about that! But I know what you mean... I girl like that... makes you want to do all kinds of crazy things!" A third one says  
"What about you Way?" Askes the pilot next to me, "What would you do to win the heart of a girl like Miss Williams?"  
"Girls like her... Don't ask for much... Only for you to comeback home to her arms..." I say looking out the window still searching for her.

The plane starts to take off and I look one more time across the airstrip and to the bulding.  
In front of the doors, with a hand over the eyes to block out the sun, stands a figure in black trousers and a white blouse.  
I sigh in relief. She came to see me take off. Now I can relax. But only until a land again. Then a hole new set of worries will take over again.  
I just hope that Mikey's alive...


	6. Lucky

September 30th, Oxford Air Base, Oxford, England

Gerard's POV.

Sep.30th Oxford

My darling Margaret,  
We arrived safe and sound at the air base. Although I should be relived and satisfied about finally doing what I was trained to do, my heart feals with sorrow with every passing day. Not only because I miss you terribly, but because there is still no news of Mikey and I'm starting to loose hope...  
England is a turned up country. London is permanently beneath a cloud of smoke and ashes. Rubble covers the streets and the dead lay under it. The sound of heartbreaking cries of mothers, wifes, children, husbands, fathers and friends echo in the streets at the sight of their dead relatives burned, mutilated or dead. There aren't enough men to help rebuild this city, and the ones that try, are too tired and deseperate to do so. Lost hope is what's visible in these peoples eyes...  
The Air Base is another sight of horror. The bodies of the dead are lined up in the airstirp awaiting identification, seeing that there is no more room in the hospital or the morgue. The surviving pilots and soldiers run around trying to do anything to help and to get the air base running again.  
As I arrived at the Air Base, I was relived to see that Frank, Ray and Bob were informed of my arrival and were there to great me as soon as I got out of the truck.  
Im pleased to tell you that they escaped deaths clutches with nothing more than a few scars and broken bones. Frank however, got it the worst. He now has a huge scar crossing his face, from the left eye down to the right side of his chin. An injury caused by an exploding propeller. How he survived such a blow, he himself doesn't know.  
None of them had any news regarding my brother or what's going to happen next. They say that even after a little more than a week, they're still trying to identify all the dead and injured. The hospital is full of poor men who were badly burned or mutilated from the explosions. The doctors made the decision to induce comas in the worst ones.  
I will try to get as close to the hospital as I can in order to try and find out what happend to my brother...

I wished that my first letter to you was a bit more pleasant, my love. But you asked me for the truth and I would not dare lie to you. Although, I beg of you not to worry about me and cry over my departure. I will do what I can to go back to your arms as quickly as possible.  
Remember that I love you my darling, and that the thought of you is what keeps me going.  
Forever yours,  
Gerard

 

I finish the letter and put my pen down. I fold the paper and slip it inside an envelope. After I adress it properly, I leave the mess hall and walk over to the communications office to deliver the letter.  
As I walking down the corridor, I hear running footsteps from behind me,  
"Gee!!", I hear Frank screaming my name and I turn around to face him. His face is blushed and he's breathing heavily from running, "You have to come! Quick!"  
"Frank what's the matter?" I ask confused  
"It's Mikey! They found him! He's alive, but he's hurt! Badly! Come quick!"

A mixture of relieve and panic wash over me as I hear the words I've been so desperate to hear over the past few days. My brother is alive. But how bad are his injuries?

I sprint down the corridor to the hospital with Frank behind me. I push the doors open and ignore the annoyed protests of the nurses as they shout at me that that was no way to enter a hospital.  
I turn to the closest nurse and grab her by the arm,  
"Where's my brother? Where's Liutenant Michael James Way?"  
"Sir let go of me!" The young nurse said with a strong Irish accent, "Liutenant Way is in surgery now. You'll have to wait until it's finished!"  
"Surgery?!" I start to panic again, "Why surgery?! What's wrong with him?!"  
"If you let go of me, then I can go and find his file!" The nurse said with a menacing look.  
I let go of her arm and look over at Frank. He's as in panic as I am.  
The nurse comes back with a small brown folder with Mikey's name written on the cover and she starts to read it out loud,  
"Liutenant Way gave entrence at the hospital this morning with 3rd degree burns on his hands, arms, neck and face caused by an exploding gas tank. He also has several broken bones in his torso and legs, which the doctor is now trying to fix. Fortunately, he doesn't seem to suffer from any head trauma or internal bleeding." The nurse closes the file and looks up at us, "He is extremely lucky to be found alive. It's been over a week since the attacks and no one knew where he was. The pilots who found him, said that he had dragged himself to a supply closet to escape the fires. He tried to wrap his hands in cloth to prevent an infection from the burns. When the pilots found him, he was barely conscious and mumbling. Your brother is a very strong man Liutenant Way. Any other man would have died of pain and infections days ago... But somehow he managed to survive!"

I didn't notice I was crying until the nurse handed me a tissue. I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. My brother was alive and he was going to be alright.  
Frank pulled me to a tight hug and I saw that he was crying too.  
We cried for a while, not noticing that the nurse left to attend to her other pacients. Frank pulled away from the hug and smiled at me,  
"You stay here and wait for more news. I'll go and find Ray and Bob to tell them. We'll be right back."  
I nodded and he left.

Whatever was happening in the surgery room has been going on for the last four hours. I keep pacing around in front of the door, waiting to see a doctor come out and give some little scrap of news.  
Frank, Ray and Bob are sitting in the waiting chairs, looking as nervous and impatient as I am.  
Finally, an old man in scrubs walks in our direction removing his surgical mask in the process,  
"Liutenant Way?" He askes  
"That's me" I step foward, "How's Mikey?"  
"Liutenant Way will be just fine. He will have scares though. Lots of them and mostly from the burns. As for his broken bones, he will make a painful recovery, and there's a chance that he might walk with a limp form now on, but other than that, he will heal." The doctor states.  
I sigh in relief, "When can I see him?"  
"He needs his rest now. You can stay next to his bed but he needs to sleep. He will be in a lot of pain when he wakes up because of the trauma. If, by any chance, the nurses or any doctor tell you to leave, you'll have to leave so we can do our jobs properly."  
I want to protest and say that I'll not leave his side, but I refrain from doing so. This is about Mikey's recovery. If I need to leave him alone for him to rest, I will. So I nod to the doctor showing him that I'll behave.  
"Very well then..." The doctor says, "He will be out in a few moments. My nurses were just finishing his bandages. You can wait in the infirmary."

After a while, the nurses bring Mikey's bed over to were I was waiting for him. He was coverd in white bandages which made him look like a mummy and his legs are wrapped in casts. I couldn't help but smile a bit, thinking about how much Mikey loves to read books about mummies.  
He is completely knocked out from the drugs, and the nurses inform me that he won't be wake for at least another four to five hours. So I sit next to his bed, preparing myself for the long wait.  
Frank, Bob and Ray leave after a while, telling me that they were going to get something to eat and that they would bring me some. I nod, not really paying attention to them.  
Now I'll just have to wait for him to open his eyes.


	7. Transferred

October 1st, Oxford Air Base, England

Gerard's POV.

I've been sitting in the same uncomfortable chair next to Mikey's bed for a little more than a day just waiting for him to wake up. Eventually I fell asleep but woke up fairly quickly when I heard Mikey stir in his bed.  
My head snaps back up and see that Mikey's opening his eyes,  
"Mikey?"  
"Gee?" His voice is slurry from the medication and his face shows that he's in a lot of pain  
"Hang on I'm going to get a nurse." I stand up and my knees snap back into place after being in the same position for so long.  
When I get back with a nurse Mikey is staring at his wrapped arms and hands and trying to move them, but immediately cringes in pain.  
"None of that Liutenant! You have to stay still! You've been through a lot in the past hours and you need your rest!" The nurse says rushing to his side and adjusting his bandages.  
"What happened?" Mikey askes, looking at me. He looks scared.  
"You don't remember?" My eyes jump between Mikey and the nurse. Why can't he remember what happened?  
"Your brother sustained serious injuries Liutenant Way. It's only natural that with the trauma, he has difficulty remembering what happend." The nurse answers my thoughts before I can even ask her anything.  
"What do you remember then?" I ask Mikey  
"I remember being in the mess hall for breakfast... Then the sirens... Then screamming... I ran outside with the guys to see what was going on... Then nothing... Only pain. Lots of pain..." He says  
"You were caught in an explosion. That's why the burn marks. A gas tank exploded and you were caught in the fire. The doctors say that it's a miracle you survived! They said that even injured, you managed to hide yourself from the confusion and stay alive. You were missing for a week!" I tell him  
"A week?! Like a full week?!" He looks confused  
"Yes, you were just found yesterday!"  
"But... But we... I..."  
"Liutenant! Your brother needs rest! You can talk to him about what happened later! You're upsetting him!" The nurse scoldes me then turns back to talk to Mikey, "I'm going to see if the doctor can come and take a look at you." She gives him a small smile and turns to face me, pointing her finger menacingly, "Do Not upset him!"  
The nurse walks past me and dissapears down the corridor. I take a sit next to Mikey's bed.  
"I've been really missing for a full week?!" He askes  
"That's why I'm here. They told me that you were MIA and presumed KIA, I didn't belive them, so I asked Margaret to send me here..."  
"Whoa whoa hold on a second... Margaret? Since when do you call her by her first name?!"  
I could feel myself blush but luckily, the nurse comes back with the same old doctor that performed his surgery,  
"Ah Liutenant! Awake and already talking! That's a good sign."  
The doctor proceeds to examine Mikey from top to bottom. After he's done he turns to me,  
"Everything looks good so far. There's no sign of head trauma or bleeding which means that his sutures are holding. I want to keep him here for a few days to check his progress, but I'll defi be transferring him back to the U.S. as soon as possible. I just want to make sure that he is stable to travel."  
"I'm... I'm going home? What about Gerard?" Mikey says  
"I think I might have to stay here Mikey... I guess I'll be taking your place." I tell him, giving him a small smile  
"But..." Mikey starts to protest but the doctor intervenes  
"We can talk about this later. You Liutenant Way need to rest, and you Liutenant Way need to eat... And take a shower..." The doctor looks at me and wrinkles his nose  
I frown at him. Seriously? My brother is in a hospital bed, there's war going on outside, and the man wants me to take a shower?!  
The doctor clears his throat and walks away, the nurse following behind him.  
"That was rude!" Mikey says. I smile at him.  
"You need to sleep. And he's right, I do need to get something to eat. And I also need to warn the guys that you're ok."  
"The guys!! Are they ok?! Did something happen to them?!"  
"They're all fine. I'll comeback with them later. First, get some sleep."  
"But..."  
"Go to sleep little brother! I promise you, I'm not going to be long!"  
"Ok..."

After I reassure Mikey that I'm coming back to see him, I leave to go and look for the guys.  
On my way outside I place my hand on my pocket and notice a piece of paper. Margaret's letter. With all the excitement of last night, I forgot to send it.  
I turn back to the communications office to send it. When I go inside I ask for a pen and paper and write a second letter to join the first one,

"October 1st, Oxford, England  
My love,  
My first letter is dark. But this one carries good news. Mikey's alive. He was found yesterday after being gone for a week. He managed to survive a gas explosion which means he has a lot of burn marks and a few broken bones. But the doctors say that they will heal. They are meaning to send him back to the U.S. in a few days after they see if he's stable to travel. Unfortunately, I'll have to stay here. But don't worry my darling. I'll be back in your arms before you know it.  
With all the love in my heart, and some more,  
Gerard"

I fold the second letter in the same envelope as the first one and give it to the soldier so he can put it with rest of the mail.  
I turn around and leave the office, praying that the letter will reach her hands.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

October 4th, Air Force Base, New York

Margaret's POV.

"You're transfering me?! Why?!" I was stittng across Captain Jackson in the breifing room. I was staring at him like I've just been slapped  
"Pearl Harbor is our best command post. You'll be a lot more helpful there than you are here. Consider it as a promotion!" Captain Jackson says, trying to lighten the mood.  
"Promotion?! You're sending me as far away from the government as possible without throwing me out of the country! My place is here or in Washington. Not in some surf resort!" I could feel my cheeks turning hot.  
"Margaret, be reasonable. Did you really think that after you called the Secretary of Defense an old clueless man, that you would just get away with it?"  
"He is an old clueless man if he really believes that the Japanese Government is really devoted to signing a peace treaty! They're building bombs Captain! We nowhere near being ready if the war reaches the United States. Am I the only one that sees that?!"  
"Margaret, enough. You're going. There's no way around it. Go, teach your class, spend some time with you're friends. Everything will be just fine."  
"The hell it wil!!" I've had enough. I stand up and start to walk out. Before I do, I turn around to say one last thing, "You may think that this is over Captain. But this is far from it. Mark my words, this war will reach the United States. We will all be slaughtered because you and the rest of you ego filled men were to proud, blind and deaf to listen to a woman! I just hope and pray that I'm wrong Captain, but if im not, I garantee you, I'll be the first one to walk up to you, to the Sec Def, to the President himself if I have to, look you all in the eyes and say, "I told you so."  
And with nothing more to say, I turn around and slam the door in his face.

I reach my office and sit down at my desk. My hands are shaking. I need to calm down. I take a few deep breaths and count to ten.  
A sudden nock on the door makes me jump in surprise.  
"Who is it?" I ask  
"Mail, Ma'am" a solider on the other side of the door says  
"Come in"  
The young man steps in and places a box of mail on my desk,  
"There's a letter marked urgent on the top Ma'am, I thought it be best to give that to you first."  
"Thank you..." I say, dismissing the man, but he holds his ground  
"It's from Liutenant Way.... Ma'am"  
My head snaps back up and I my eyes jump between the letter and the soldier. My insides turn and I feel sick. I clear my throat trying to sound normal,  
"Is that all?"  
"Yes Ma'am... Have a good day" the solider salutes me with a smile and leaves.  
As soon as he is out the door I reach for the letter. It is from Gerard.  
Oh God, what if something happend?  
My hands are shaking again as I open the envelope and start to read the first piece of paper.  
My heart starts to sink as I read the news about England. I'm glad he's ok, but the way he describes the city breaks my heart.  
Fortunately, the second letter lifts my spirit when I read about Mikey. He's alive, healing And possibly coming back to the States.  
I can't leave him alone here. If I'm going to Pearl Harbor then I'll make sure Mikey goes too. He needs someone to take care of him.  
I decide to write him back.

"My love,  
you have no idea how it warms my heart to know that you are safe. I'm so happy that Mikey's alive and coming home.  
I was told today that I'm being transferred to Pearl Harbor in order to continue my classes. I'll make sure that Mikey's transferred there too so I can look after him. I don't trust the people here anymore...

I understand and that you'll have to stay there my darling. I just hope that everything will turn out alright and we'll be together again very soon.  
I love you Gerard, now and forever.  
Please be safe.  
With a loving kiss and a heart filled with love,  
Mags"


	8. Drunk in Love

October 5th, Oxford Air Base, England

Gerard's POV.

"Hold it, Hold it, back up a little! You're telling me, Frank Iero, that you, Gerard Way, against all odds and after making a complete fool of yourself, managed to make the most beautiful woman anyone has ever seen in our miserable lives, fall in love?! WITH YOU?! HOW THE HELL IS THIS POSSIBLE?!"  
"Shhh!!!" The nurse scolded him for speaking so loud in the infirmary.

We were all laughing at his face. Frank waved his arms in disbelief as I told them about me and Margaret.  
"I'm sorry you feel that way Frank" I say in between laughs and wiping the tears from my eyes  
"This is unbelievable. Unbelievable I tell you! How is it that you get the perfect woman after throwing up at her feet, and me, in all my charm, can't even get a girl to have a drink with me?" He says pouting.  
We all start laughing again, earning us a glare from the nurse.

We're all sitting around Mikey's bed. He says he's feeling better, But I can see that he's not. He's in a lot of pain, physically and emotionally.  
Earlier today, the doctor talked to him about the scars he would have in his face because of the burns. He assured him that they would heal, but he will be scared.  
When the doctor was talking to him I could see his face drop and his eyes showed panic.  
After the doctor left, Mikey forced me to go and find a mirror so he could look at himself. I tried to convince him otherwise but he started getting upset, so I gave in.  
He broke down in tears after I turned the mirror to his face.  
The whole right half of his face had scars and cuts.  
After hours of trying to confort him, he finally stopped crying. When the guys appeard, he even looked happy to see them. Even now, he was laughing with us, but I knew that that wasn't his true feelings at the moment.  
Mikey had always been a quiet and shy boy. Never really talked much. Growing up, he was very self conscious about himself, especially around girls. Those trades in his personality continued until adulthood. My fears now were that he would retreat further into himself out of embarrassment of his face.

"Well I'm happy for Gerard!" Ray says after he was able to control his laughter, "He finally has a reason to become more grounded and kick the nasty habbits."  
"Bad choice of words dude. We're pilots. We'll never be grounded!" Bob says  
We all start laughing again at his bad joke.  
"Gentlmen! May I remind you that you're in a hospital!" A nurse scolds us and we all turn around to look at her. She was gazing daggers at us.  
After a few "sorry's" and giggles, the nurse turns back to her work and we all start laughing again.

"But seriously man, I'm happy for you." Ray says, reaching for my hand and giving it a light squeeze.  
"Thanks Ray. I'm glad to hear that." I smile at him and look to the guys. They are all smiling at me and nodding.  
"Yeah Gee, she's looks like a really nice girl." Bob says  
"That's an understatement..." I say to myself, thinking I wasn't saying it out loud  
"What do you mean?" Mikey asks  
"What do you mean, what do I mean?" I ask confused  
"You said that calling her a nice girl was an understatement. Why?" Frank askes  
"Because...." I try to find the right words without sounding ridiculous.mthe guys are all staring at me in expectation.  
"Because she's perfect." I finally say, "If there is a God than she's one of his angels for sure. The world might me dark, in agony and despair, but she's a ray of sunlight. Not only is she beautiful, but she's smart, and kind, and devoted, and has the most honest smile I've ever seen. She's the rare type of girl that is an open book when it comes to showing emotions, but is extremely complex and difficult to understand at the same time. She puzzles me, she makes me want to be a better man! Ever since I layed eyes on her, I've been having dreams and thoughts about having a life with her, after all of this ends. I want to be there for her every day for the rest of my life. I want to hold her when she cries, to be the one that makes her laugh. Hell, I even want to be the one she gets mad at! Being away from her, feels like I've been broken in half, that part of me is missing. I've never felt this way before, about anyone! There were girls in my life, but none like her! She's.... She's the girl I want to marry... I love her."

I was was looking at the floor as I spoke. When I lifeted my eyes again, the guys were staring at me in shock, their mouths slightly ajar.  
"Fucking hell..." Mikey was the first one to speak.  
"Holy shit!" Frank spoke in second  
Ray and Bob just stared at me wide eyed.  
I felt embarrassed, having them all staring at me like that. I felt myself starting to blush, "Would you guys stop staring at me like that? It's creeping me out!"  
"I'm sorry dude, it's just that..." Ray spoke, still with a surprised look on his face.  
"We never thought we lived to see the day that you said something like that!" Frank completed Ray's sentence  
"Why not? Is it that weird?!" I ask, feeling a bit offended  
"YES!" They all answer at the same time  
"This isn't just some fling!" Bob says, "You're actually in love with this girl! It's real!"

I try to make sense of their comments. Looking back in my life, it kind of makes sense. I was always the guy that never took relationships seriously. Girls would be in and out of my life, just as frequently as I changed my shirt. The only thing permanent in my life was the liquor. Come to think of it, I've never even been in love. This is a whole new feeling for me. No wonder the guys are surprised.

"Well... I do love her... I know it may sound weird for you, but it's the truth. I love her."  
"We belive you Gee." Bob says, slapping my back in a comforting way  
"I don't!" Frank says, "I think you might be drunk! Completely wasted! In fact, I think you might be allucinating!"  
"Well, in a way... He is drunk." Mikey says  
"What?! I'm not drunk!" I frown at him  
"You are... You're drunk in love..." He says, smiling at me  
the guys start to laugh again and I smile back at my brother,  
Drunk in love.... Now there's a good title for a song...


	9. Overthinking it

October 6th, Pearl Harbor, Hawaii

Margaret's POV.

Lindsey, Jamia and Kristin won't stop yapping about how everything is so pretty around here.  
I have a massive headache because I couldn't sleep on the journey here, and they wouldn't stop talking!  
I love my friends, I honestly do. But right now, I just feel a very urgent need to tape their mouths.

Apart from being incredibly upset for being sent here, I'm worried about Gerard. I haven't heard from him in a while and the only news I got was that my request to transfer Mikey to Pearl Harbor was accepted and that he should arrive tomorrow.

Th girls keep talking and taking pictures of everything while we all are driven to our houses inside the military base. We're all staying together under Lindsey's request.

We arrive at the house and Jamia and Kristin jump out of the jeep and run inside laughing and calling dibs on the rooms. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't notice that Lindsey stayed behind to talk to me.

"Alright Margaret, this is enough!" She says, breaking my line of thought  
"Excuse me?"  
"I know you're upset for being sent here and I get it. I would be too. But I can see that there's something else bothering you and I want to know what is it."  
"Lins I'm fine. You must be imagining things" I give her a small smile and try to go around her, but she steps in front of me  
"I've known you since high school sweety. Do you really think you can lie to me?"  
"I'm not lying Lins! I'm fine, I really am. I just have a lot on my mind, that's all..."  
"What's on your mind?" I'm starting to get irritated by her persistence  
"Just a lot of things! My job mostly. And a few other things..."  
"What other things?"  
"Just... Other things I'm worried about."  
"Margaret, either you tell me what's on your mind right now, or I swear to God I'm going to call Jamia and Kristin out here and we'll force it out of you!" She waves a finger in front of my nose as a threat.

I sigh. Clearly there's no getting out of this, so I might as well just tell her. In fact, I should just tell them all and be done with this.  
I've been hiding my relationship with Gerard from the girls because no one can know. Technically, I'm still his teacher, and if anyone found out that I was romantically involved with one of my students, there would be problems. They would say that there would be conflict of interests, that I wouldn't be doing my job properly because I would want to protect him... Which is true, and already happened...

"Fine!" I sigh again, "I'll tell you everything. But let's get inside and I'll tell you all at the same time. I'm only telling this story once!"  
Lindsey smiles like she just won a grand prize and runs to the house.  
I sigh again preparing myself mentally for their reactions and endless questions, and walk inside.  
"Here goes nothing..."  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I tell the girls everything.  
At first, there was silence. Then, a downpour of questions,  
"Why didn't you tell us?"  
"How could you do this?"  
"What about your job?! You could lose your job!"  
"Are you sure about this?"

I just wait for them to ask everything they want. This is why I didn't want to tell them. Right now, my friends are a mixture of happiness, pride, curiousity and concern. I didn't want to worry them.

"I know about the risks. And I think Gerard knows too. But I'm sure that none of you will tell this to anyone... Will you?"  
"Of course not!", "We wouldn't dream of it!", "Never!" They all answer at once  
"But... Do you really love him?" Jamia askes  
"I... I don't know... I guess... I'm not sure..." I stutter  
"What do you mean you're not sure?" Kristin askes  
"I do love him, and I want to be with him. And I know that he said that he loved me too... But he's away now, and I don't know when he's coming back... What if his feelings for me change while he's out there? What if... What if he doesn't comes back?" My voice breaks a little at the end and Kristin holds my hand,  
"You can't think like that sweety. You have to think positive!"  
"Yes Margaret! You can't spend your life not taking any risks! If you love him, go for it!" Says Jamia  
"But what if..." I start, but I'm immediately cut off  
"Sweetheart, we know what you're thinking. You're scared to death of loosing the people you love, that's why you don't let anyone close... But you can't live your life in fear! You should enjoy what you two have now!" Lindsey says, sitting next to me and placing one arm over my shoulders  
"Margaret, we've known eachother since high school. In that time, you've never had a boyfriend, or a crush. Every boy that tried to come close, you push them away. You went to college, and the same thing happened... It's time you start letting people in sweety... You can't just push everyone way because you're afraid of getting hurt!" Kristin keeps holding my hand.

I sigh. I know they're right, but I can't shake the feeling that something will go wrong between me and Gerard. I love him so much I can't even describe it! But I'm terrified of losing him or getting hurt.  
War time was also a very poor time for me to fall in love...

"Margaret, stop overthinking things and enjoy it!" Lindsey says shaking my shoulders.  
They laugh and I smile a bit, "Alright... I'll try not to overthink things."  
"That's the spirit!"Jamia shouts which makes all laugh.

Our conversation is interrupted by a knock on the door. Lindsey stands up to answer it and there's a solider at the door,  
"I'm sorry to disturb you Miss, but I'm looking for Miss Margaret Williams." I stand up and walk to the door,  
"I'm Miss Williams." The solider saluts me  
"I'm sorry to disturb you Ma'am, but your presence is requested at headquarters immediately"  
"Requested? What happened?"  
"We just recived word Ma'am... London and Oxford have been bombed again."


	10. PULL UP!!

October 6th, Oxford Air Base, England  
Gerard's POV

Today is the day that Mikey's leaving to go back to the US. Margaret managed to have him transferred to Pearl Harbor so she can keep an eye on him while he recovers.   
The doctors say that he's stable enough to travel, which lifts a gigantic weight off my shoulders. I just want Mikey to be as far away from combat as possible. 

He's stable enough to travel, but not yet strong enough to walk. So the doctors sat him on a wheelchair and are now pushing out of the hospital and towards the plane that will take him, and the other injured soldiers back home. 

We said our goodbyes this morning, and I gave him a letter to give to Margaret as soon as he sees her. It's hard to watch my brother go, but like I said, the further away he is from danger, the better. 

Me, Bob, Ray and Frank are watching the plane take off. As soon as it's off the ground, a sigh of relief is heard amongst us four. 

"That's one less thing we need to worry about..." Bob says  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" I ask, angry  
"The chances are, we are all going into combat again soon. Do you really think any of us could be focused on what we're doing, if we're worried about Mikey in the hospital, and the hospital getting hit by a bomb?" Bob explains  
"He's right you know?" Ray says

I understand what they're saying, I just didn't like the way they said it. But they're right. If there was another attack, my main concern would be to protect Mikey. 

"INCOMING!!!!"  
The sound of the scream pierces our ears and the impact of the explosion caught us by surprise and sent us flying backwards.   
I feel dizzy. I can't hardly hear anything and what I can hear sounds like I'm under water. My vision is blurry but I can see the guys next to me, shaking their heads, looking as confused as I am.   
The screams continue, all around us, people are shouting and running around.  
I feel a pair of hands shake me and I look up to see a young soldier looking at me and yelling,   
"Lieutenant you have to get up!! Get to the planes!! Get up NOW!!" 

I shake my head again trying to organize my thoughts. Bombs. Danger. Planes. Now!   
I try and stand up with shaky legs. Frank, Ray and Bob are already up.   
"Time to go gentlemen!" Ray yells over the sounds of shouting and bombs crashing.   
We all run to the airstrip. Amongst the confusion of falling bodies, black smoke, explosions, yells of orders and yells of panic, we manage to reach our planes. 

"Stay close to each other! Let's try and keep this tight!" I shout to the guys as they run to their own planes.   
I climb inside the cockpit, and put my helmet on.   
"Party Poison to tower! Party Poison to tower! Requesting permission for immediate takeoff!"   
"Tower to Party Poison, you're clear for takeoff! Get those sons of bitches!!"   
As soon as I'm cleared, I takeoff. Looking back a bit, I see the guys taking off close behind me.   
"Party Poison to Fun Ghoul! Come in Fun Ghoul!" I look around for Frank,  
"Fun Ghoul to Party Poison! I'm right here buddy! Let's go and kick some ass!"   
"Yeeee ha boys! Jet Star to Party Poison and Fun Ghoul, time to show these boys how we do it! American Style!" I hear Ray shouting on my headset,   
"Alright boys, let's keep this tight! I want to be on the ground for dinner!" I say, and speed after an enemy plane. 

Planes fly around me, communications are a mess. All I can see is planes falling like flies and smoke all around me. We're flying over London. The ground troops are firing their mortars. I can't see my friends. All I can hear are the communications between my the other pilots,   
"HE'S ON YOUR SIX!"  
"PULL UP! PULL UP NOW!"   
"I CAN'T SHAKE HIM! I NEED BACKUP!"   
"WATCH OUT!"   
"BOUGGY DOWN!"   
"FUN GHOUL I NEED YOU! I CAN'T SHAKE HIM"   
"I'M COMING BOBERT HANG ON!"

As I hear my friends, I sigh in relief, "PARTY POISON TO FUN GHOUL AND BOBERT! I'M COMING BUDDY! HANG ON"   
"I CAN'T SHAKE HIM!! HE'S ON MY SIX!! ENGINE ONE GOT HIT!! MAYDAY MAYDAY, MASSIVE ENGINE FAILURE, MAYDAY!"   
"BOB PULL UP!" I yell  
"I CAN'T! I'M STUCK"   
"BOB!!" I hear Frank scream  
In front of me, the plane explodes. I see it fall. I can hear Frank yelling on my headset but I can't make out the words. 

Suddenly, a different voice wakes me from my panic state,  
"Team Leader to Party Poison, Team Leader to Party Poison. Abort mission! I repeat, ABORT MISSION, GET YOUR MEN OUT OF THERE NOW!"   
"Roger Team Leader." I turn my plane around and call for the rest of the pilots,   
"Calling all Pilots! ABORT MISSION! I REPEAT, ABORT MISSION!! PULL BACK AND RETURN TO BASE!"   
"GERARD WATCH OUT!!" Frank yells

My plane gets hit. I can feel myself loosing control over it. The plane starts to spin. It's nose to the ground. In my headset, I hear Ray and Frank screaming my name. I try to lift my arms and pull on the emergency release. I reach it and pull. My seat gets ejected out of the plane. I get lifted into the air. I pull on my parachute. It opens but I'm falling to fast and I'm to close to the ground. I can see buildings beneath me. I try as hard as I can to land on top of one so I can be found later. I try to control my fall. My feet hit the ground and an instant pain shots up my leg. My body hits the floor. I'm pretty sure I broke a few ribs. I feel dizzy. My parachute falls around me. I'm in too much pain to move, so I just stay where I am. I can feel myself drifting away to unconsciousness.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wake up to the sound of my name being called. Someone grabs my shoulders and shakes me a little bit,   
"Gee! Come on buddy wake up!", is that Frank?   
"Is he alive?" Ray?   
"Yes, but he's completely out! Come on buddy open your eyes!" It is Frank  
"Frankie?" I manage to open my mouth, but it's too dry, I can hardly speak  
"Hang on buddy! Just stay conscious, we're taking you to the hospital. RAY CALL SOMEONE!!" Frank yells.   
I can hear Ray calling someone to get a medic, but he sounds so far away. I need to sleep some more...  
"HEY!" Frank slaps me. Why did he slap me? I just want to sleep! "You have to stay awake Gerard! Just stay awake! Think about Margaret!"  
Margaret... Mags... My Mags... When will I see her again? I'm getting dizzy again...  
"Gee! Come on buddy don't do this!!" Frank is shaking me  
I just want to sleep for a little bit... Just a little bit...


	11. The Diary

October 8th, London, England 

Gerard's POV

I woke up in a hospital. Doctors and nurses run around like crazy, trying to get to every man, woman and child screaming in pain. No one will tell me where I am. I'm in pain, and confused. 

I look down at my body to try and understand what happened. I have bandages around my torso and my leg is in a cast. All I can remember is being on the plane fighting, then shouting, I rush to someone's aid... Bob, Bob was the one that needed... Oh God... He's dead. I couldn't get to him. They shot him...   
I start to cry. Bob's gone... One of my best friends, my brother, my wingman, gone... 

a young blond nurse sees that im awake and runs over to me. she looks tired and her clothes are coverd in blood,   
"Oh good, your awake. I was starting to think that you were dead!" She says, looking a little relived but also looking around the room to see if someone is calling her  
"Where am I? What happened?" I ask, my voice week and my throat begging for water  
"You were shot out of the sky. Your friends brought you in and then went back out there to look for more injured. The fighting is over, but every minute, more injured are brought in."   
Before I can ask another question, the nurse runs over to a doctor who's trying to hold a soldier down while the poor man screams in pain.   
I look the other way, feeling nauseated by the whole scene. The entire room I'm mean makes me feel nauseous. The blood, the screams, the panic, the doctors and nurses running around with with blood on their clothes...   
I close my eyes and try to shut everything out. If my arms didn't hurt so bad I would have brought them up so I could cover my ears.   
The familiar feeling of being light headed washes over. I feel myself passing out. I don't try and fight it. I welcome the unconsciousness. At least that way, I don't have to see what happens around me.   
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
October 8th, Pearl Harbor 

Margaret's POV

I try and keep calm. There's no point in panicking until I know exactly what's going on across the ocean.   
I enter the communications office running. The room is a mess, people running around and shouting. General Watkins, my superior here in Pearl Harbor, is looking over at maps and shouting instructions to other people. I walk over to him.  
"General, what's happening?!"   
"London has been under attack all morning. We don't know if it stopped now, communications are down. Now one was expecting this attack. Some how the enemy slipped under our radar." He says, not looking up to look at me  
"How's that even possible? After the last attack weren't the radars calibrated? I thought we could see everything flying in and out of London!"   
"We didn't see this."   
"But how can that be?!" I pressure the issue starting to feel angry  
"I don't know how it's possible!" The General snaps at me, finally looking up, "All I know is that it happened and now we need to do everything we can to help the British so that their city and their country won't disappear from the map!" 

My mind is going a mile a minute. My thoughts jump between being worried about what's happening, and Gerard and Mikey's safety... Oh my God, Mikey! He was supposed to be on a plane coming back home!  
"There was a hospital plane leaving Oxford this morning, coming here. Is there any word on that plane?" I ask the General, trying to stay calm  
"The plane left Oxford before the attack, but right now there's no word on it." He says, looking back down observing the maps  
"What about our men? Our pilots? Is there any word on them? Do we have a head count yet?"   
"Communications are down Miss Williams. There's no word on anyone or anything. All we can do now is wait." 

I feel numb. I don't know how to feel. I don't know if Gerard is still alive. I don't know if Mikey is still alive. I don't know what's happening on the other side of the world. All I can do now is wait. And I hate waiting.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Same day, London, St. Bartholomew's Hospital

Gerard's POV

When I open my eyes again is dark outside. The room is silent. There are no screams and no one running around. Everyone is sleeping.   
I look around and see a figure sitting next to my bed. His head is leaning on his hand and he's snoring softly. I squint my eyes trying to see who's there. There's a scorpion tattoo on the side of his neck.  
"Frank?" I whisper  
The figure stirs and seats up,   
"Gee? Oh thank God you're awake! I was worried sick!" He pulls his chair closer to the bed.  
"What are you doing here? I thought you were out looking for more injured..."   
"I was, but Ray told me to come here and check on you while he..." He paused, looking troubled  
"While he what?"   
He sighs before continuing, "While he's trying to look for Bob's... body..." His voice cracks a bit indicating that he's crying.  
I can't say anything else. I let the silence surrounds us for a while. I can hear Frank sobbing now and then. I notice his hand is next to mine on the bed and I take it, giving it a squeeze. He looks up and smiles at me wiping the tears from his eyes.   
"I almost forgot!" He said suddenly, "I found this on your crash site. It must have fallen out of your pocket!"   
He places a small leather bound notebook in my hand, my diary, the one that Margaret gave me.  
"Thank you! I would never forgive myself if I lost this!"   
He smiles at me and yawns. He's clearly exhausted. I can't see his face but I'm certain that he has dark rings under his eyes.   
We talk for a little while longer until he stops answering and falls asleep again. I try and do the same, but two questions burn in my mind and keep me awake.   
Did Mikey's plane make it out of the danger zone? Is Margaret okay?   
Because I can't sleep, I grab the diary and open it. The pen I use to write in it, somehow, is still there. I take it and start to write, using what little light I have from the window. 

"Diary of Gerard Way. London, England. St. Bartholomew's Hospital, 1941

Against all odds I survived. We lost half of our Air Force, but I survived. I just need to hold on. Just a little longer. Then I'll see her again.That brown haired beauty of mine...  
This close encounter with death just made me realize how much I love her and I need to be next her. She never leaves my mind. She's a constant presence and it's what keeps me going. The idea that I might have a life, a future with her, warms my heart.   
I just need to hold on a little longer."


	12. Coffee

October 12th, Pearl Harbor 

Margaret's POV

With a large cup of coffee in one hand and fresh flowers in the other, I make my way down the hospital corridors to Mikey's room.

He arrived a few days ago and doctors say that he's recovering well, but he'll need to stay under observation for at least another month. 

I've been visiting every day. I want to make sure that he's being well treated. For that, I asked Kristin, Lindsey and Jamia to keep an eye on him while they work. 

Although Mikey was more than happy to be taken care of by three beautiful women, I noticed that his eyes fell on Kristin the second he saw her.  
I was in his room on the day he arrived. Kristin walked in to check his drip and see if he needed anything. The moment he turned his head to see her walk in with that innocent and sweet smile of hers, his permanent poker face transformed instantly to the biggest smile and wide eyes you could possibly imagine. Seriously, the boy looked like someone just handed him a million dollars. And she looked just like him.  
Since that day, Kristin became his "private" nurse, attending to his every need.

I haven't asked neither of them about it directly. However, when I entered Mikey's room just now, Kristin was standing next to his bed giggling. 

None of them noticed I walked in, so I had to clear my throat to get their attention.  
They both stared and me in shock. Kristin's face turned bright red and she took a step back, away from his bed. 

"Good morning you two!" I said, grinning  
"M-Margaret! I d-didn't hear you come in!" Mikey said, sitting up straight in his bed and looking a bit embarrassed.  
"I just thought I brought you some fresh flowers and see how you're doing this morning... But looks like someone bit me to the punch..." I say, smiling and looking at the jar of fresh flowers that sit on Mikey's nightstand. 

Kristin, still looking like a tomato, mumbled something about getting a new vase for my flowers and left the room. 

I chuckle and go and sit then in the chair next to his bed, "How are you?"  
"I'm o-okay... Have you heard anything new from Gerard?"  
"No... Not yet. Last thing anyone told me was that he was in some hospital in London and that he was alive, but that was it..."  
Mikey reaches for my hand and I take his, "It'll be alright Mags... You'll see..."  
I smile hearing the nickname Gerard gave me. 

Mikey said that they both talked about me. He said that Gerard never looked happier when he talked about me. Mikey's happy for us. He says that I'm the best thing that ever happened in his brothers life. Before he met me, Gerard drank a lot. And other than being a pilot, he had no other life plans. Now, Mikey says that he talks about marring me, and having a life together. He told me that he would be more than happy to see us getting married and live happily ever after. 

It makes me happy to know that Mikey supports us, but the thought of being married to Gerard and having a life with him scares me. Not because I don't love him. But because I love him so much that I want it to be true. But this is war. And no matter how much I pray and hope, I just don't know for certain if he's ever coming home... That's what scares me. 

"Margaret? Please don't cry..." Mikey says squeezing my hand. I didn't even noticed I started to cry.  
"I'm okay, I promise." I tell him, smiling, wiping away the tears and quickly changing the subject, "So... You and Kristin..."  
"Me and... Kr-Kristin...?" He stutters and I smile  
"You two looked pretty friendly just now... And I'm pretty sure that she was the one that brought you those flowers..."  
"Oh... The flowers... Sh-she was just being nice..." He blushes  
"Well, she is a nice girl. Pretty too. A bit shy though... But that's how she's always been."  
"She is pretty..." Mikey sighs  
"And looks like she likes you too..."  
"T-too?! Wh-what..."  
"Come on Mikey! Even a blind person could see that you two have a crush on each other!"  
"You're wrong... She doesn't have a crush on me... No one would have a crush on me... I mean, look at me!" Mikey says pointing at his burned face and skinny body, "I wasn't exactly attractive before all of this, even less now! I'm not like Gerard or Frank..."  
"Mikey don't say that. You're beautiful just the way you are!"  
"Kristin... She's gorgeous! She should never be with a guy like me.."  
"Mikey, I should tell you right now, that Kristin takes very little into consideration someone's looks."  
"Still..." He sighs, "there's no way she would fall for a guy like me..."  
"Sorry to break it to you Mikey, but I think she already has. I mean, the girl's been in here every day since you arrived attending to your every need. And today, she brought you flowers..."  
"And this!" He says, pulling out a Captain America comic book from under his pillow, "I... I told her I collect comic books... This is issue number one..." He says, blushing again.  
"The girl buys you comic books without you even asking her, and you still say that she doesn't have a crush on you..."  
"Y-you really think that she likes me?"  
I can't help but give him a 'are you kidding me' look.  
"Do you think I should ask her out?" He asks, starting to get excited  
"Yes! Even if it is just for a cup of coffee, I think you should definitely ask her out."  
"I like coffee..." A small voice comes from the door. Kristin is standing there with a vase in her arms. Her cheeks are blushed and she's smiling.  
"Yes you do! You both do! And I like to work, which is what I should be doing. So I'm just gonna go!" I say, standing up and walking to the door, passing Kristin on the way out, "I'll see you later sweetie! Don't forget that Lindsey's making dinner tonight!" I tell her, kissing her on the cheek  
"Actually... I'm on the night shift tonight..." She says, blushing even more  
"Of course you are! Well, have a good day then. And I'll see you both tomorrow morning!" I say, walking out the door.  
Before I close it completely, I hear Mikey's voice, "Soooo... Coffee..." 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Same day, London

Gerard's POV

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT GOING HOME?!" I yell at the doctor that's standing in front of my bed.  
"Gee please calm down!" Frank asks standing next to me with Ray next to him  
"It means that as soon as you're discharged from the hospital and dimmed fit for duty, you're back on the planes. Orders from your Captain. If you're capable of flying, then you're not going home. And this goes to all the pilots here. I'm sorry Lieutenant." He says and leaves.  
"FUCK!" I yell again, punching the mattress  
"Gee, we understand that you want to go home and see Margaret. But you're the best pilot here! We need you!" Ray says, trying to calm me down (which doesn't work).  
"Yeah Gee! We're a team! We're The Fabulous Killjoys! We already lost Bob and Mikey, we can't loose our leader too!" Frank says, sitting at the end of my bed. 

I sigh. They're right. This is my job. I need to be here. Hell, a few months ago I wanted to be here! That's all I wanted and trained to achieve. Now, all I want is to go home and see her again. But I guess I'll have to wait a little longer...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're now mid way towards the end of this story and I would love your opinion about the story so far :) what do you think of the story, the characters, etc? 
> 
> When I finish posting this fic, I'll start posting a new one called "Divided". It is also a MCR fic but it's inspired by the book series "Beautiful Creatures" by Kami Garcia. If you like fantasy books, I definitely recommend you to read this series because it's amazing :) 
> 
> in the mean time, please let me know what you think about this story. Constructive criticism is always welcome, so let me know if there's anything you like/don't like. 
> 
> Stay Safe Killjoys :)


	13. Keep my head down

October 15th, Pearl Harbor 

Margaret's POV

"You better start explaining this letter to me right now General!" I say, barging into General Watkins office with little regard for his position as my superior officer. 

He looks at me startled and literally jumping out of his chair. He tenses when he sees what I'm holding. The letter with the list of names of the U.S. Soldiers and pilots that were KIA, hurt, in observation at the hospital, and those who were coming home. Gerard's name was on the list of pilots who were in observation at the hospital, but there was no mention of him coming home. Needless to say, I was furious about this. 

"The letter is very self explanatory Miss Williams." Said the General  
"Self explanatory my ass!" I raise my voice  
"Miss Will-" he turns red when I raise my voice  
"According to this, we had a total of 200 soldiers and pilots stationed all around England. 150 of them are dead. Of the other 50, 30 are severely injured and in the hospital. Which means we have 20 men still fit for duty. 20! That's not even a full class of students! You have to get them out of there!"   
"I don't have to do anything!" The general starts to stand up from behind his desk  
"General, you're loosing men. GOOD men! The best of the best! And they're dropping like flies!"  
"Is this about Lieutenant Way?" He asks. I freeze on the spot.  
"I don't..." I start but he cuts me off  
"Oh I think you know exactly what I'm talking about. You're upset because Lieutenant Way isn't coming home despite his injuries."   
"I'm upset because we're loosing good men in this fight and you're not doing anything about it!"   
"I should have seen this sooner. I've heard rumors among the men that came from New York. That a teacher had fallen in love with one of the pilots. Obviously the teacher was you. And then when Lieutenant Michael Way was injured, you forced us to transfer him here for treatment" he says, squinting his eyes at me. I can hardly breathe. My heart is almost beating out of my chest and my mouth is dry. When he sees that I don't answer, he continues, "At first I thought it was him. But I saw you with him at the hospital, and you two didn't look romantic. But then it hit me. His older brother Gerard. He's the one you fell for. Do you deny it?"   
"I... I don't..." I stutter. I realize that there's no way out of this, "My personal feelings are not what's important right now."   
"I think they are. Very important. You lost your objectivity. All you care about is if he survives."   
"I care for Gerard's safety as much as I care for any other men out there. My feelings for him in no way affect the desire to get what's rest of our men home safe and sound." I say  
"So you admit it. You do care for him."   
"Yes I do. But I haven't lost my objectivity nor have I forgot the reason why I'm here."   
"It's good of you not to forget Miss Williams. And if I were you, I would pay very close attention to what I'm going to say next."   
"I'm listening."   
"If I were you, I would leave the important decisions to the MEN in charge and redeem myself to teaching the class you were hired to teach. Also, I would keep my feelings in check and in secret from now on. What you and Lieutenant Way are doing is against the rules, and I can assure you that I have no problem in firing you and give him a dishonorable discharge for inappropriate involvement."   
"Y-you can't do that! The Air Force is his life! You want to punish someone, punish me! Not him!" I panic. I can't get him kicked out of the Air Force. That would destroy him!   
"Then I suggest you follow my advice Miss Williams. Because I promise you, you cross the line again, and you and your little pilot will be shipped off back to the mainland faster than you can blink!" 

(Time lapse) 

"That son of a bitch!" Mikey says, trying to sit up but immediately wincing in pain, "I should punch the bastard!"   
"I don't think punching him will do much good Mikey" I say, sobbing a bit and Kristin hands me a tissue  
"Sweetie what are you gonna do?" She asks holding my hand   
"What can I do Kris? He's threatening to fire me and Gerard. If it was just me I would be fine with it, but I can't allow that to happen to him!"   
"So what now? The General will be looking over you like a hawk! You probably won't even be able to send him letters" says Mikey  
"For now I need to keep doing my job. I'll continue teaching my classes like nothing happened. As for the letters, I'll write them in your name, or I'll start addressing them to Frank or to Ray. I don't know. But right now, I need to keep my head down. I don't want to give that bastard any reasons to annoy me further." 

(Time lapse) 

After everything that has happened today, walking sounded like a good idea. 

After I left the hospital, I decided to walk home. Which turned out to be a very bad idea because it was a long walk, I'm wearing heels and it's incredibly hot.   
When I finally reach the bungalow, I'm happy to find out the that house is empty. The girls must still be at the hospital.   
I decide to take a bath. So I walk to the bathroom and start undressing. 

I don't know exactly what happened, but one minute I'm getting out of my dress and the next and puking into the toilet. I feel dizzy and my eyesight is foggy. I feel like I'm about to faint.   
When I finally stop puking, I decide that maybe I should wait until one of the girls to arrive so I can take a bath in safety. The last thing I need is to pass out in the bathtub and probably drowning.   
I get up and put on my night gown. I lay down on my bed and try to get some sleep.   
Clearly, to much heat and stress are not a good combination.


	14. Congratulations

December 1st, Pearl Harbor

Margaret's POV

"That's it. I'm taking you to the hospital." Says Lindsey holding my hair up, once again as I puke my guts into to the toilet.

"Linds I'm fine. It's probably a stomach flu" I say cleaning my mouth with the back of my hand

"No you're not fine! You've been feeling nauseous and tired every day for the past month. The only reason I haven't dragged you by your hair to the hospital is because you asked me not to. But I've had enough. I'm taking you, and we're going. NOW!" 

Guess there's no point in arguing with her.   
I try and stand up by leaning on the toilet but my arms are to weak and Lindsey has to help me up. 

She's right, I don't know what it is, but it isn't a stomach flu. 

Could be stress? I've been worrying about Gerard a lot lately.

A few weeks ago a received a letter from him saying that he was out of the hospital and flying again. Needless to say that I didn't like this one bit. But so far I haven't received news of any tragedy. 

The attacks on London stopped, for the time being, and Gerard's job has mostly been patrolling the coastline. 

Although he isn't fighting, I can't help but think that something terrible is going to happen. 

But right now, Lindsey said that I needed to worry about me and that Gerard wasn't here to make me feel better. 

Once we got to the hospital, Lindsey took me directly to the consultations area and made me sit down on one of the waiting chairs. She then turned to a young nurse with dark brown wavy hair. 

"Hey Christa! Have you seen Doctor Leto today?" 

"I think he's in exam room 3, but do you want me to check?" The girl, Christa says

"That's okay, I got it. Can you keep an eye on Margaret for me? Call me if she starts puking her insides again" 

"I'm not a baby you know?" I snap at her

"If it wasn't for me, forcing you to come here, you'd still be at home not knowing what's wrong with you and not even making an effort to find out. Now, stay here!" 

I scowl at her, but she turns away to go and find Doctor Leto. Christa walks over to me with a glass of water in her hand. 

"Here. I'm Christa by the way... But I guess you already know that..." 

"Margaret" I say, taking a sip from the water, trying to wash the foul taste in my mouth

"Nice to meet you." She says, smiling, "Although, I wish it was in better circumstances" 

"Yeah, me too. If you don't mind me asking... You look a little young to be a nurse... How old are you?" 

Christa blushes a bit and looks down, "I'm sev-eighteen" 

"You're seventeen?! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?" 

Luckily, Christa didn't need to answer my question because at that exact moment, Lindsey showed up with a doctor who, I assumed, was Doctor Leto

"Hello Margaret, I'm Doctor Jared Leto. Your friend Lindsey here tells me you haven't been very well for the past month." 

"I'm sure this is just stress. I've had a lot on my mind lately." I say

"Well why don't we step into my office and we'll try and find out what's wrong with you" 

I stand up and hand the glass back to Christa with a smile. She smiles back and goes back to her job. 

Before I could say anything, Lindsey is walking into the consultation with me and sitting on one of the two chairs in front of the doctors desk. I sigh and sit next to her. 

After the normal doctor interview, (how are you feeling? What are your symptoms? How long have you been feeling like this? Etc...) he wanted to run some blood and urine tests. 

With a lot of winning from me (I hate needles) he finally takes my blood and urine samples to the Lab. He asks us to wait in his office while he runs the tests and that he shouldn't be long. 

10 minutes...  
20 minutes...   
30...   
45...  
An hour... 

I'm starting to freak out. What on earth is taking so long?   
Lindsey is still sitting next to me. At some point I grabbed her hand without knowing and have been holding it ever since. 

I'm scared. What if I'm really sick? What if he found out something terrible and is working up the courage to give the bad news? 

Suddenly he walks in and both me and Lindsey jump in surprise. 

"Sorry about that. And sorry for the wait. I needed to double check your samples" he says, sitting behind his desk

"And did you find out what's wrong with me?" I ask. My voice is weak

"Wrong? There's nothing wrong with you, Margaret" he says, with a smile on his face

"Then why did you have to double check the results?" Lindsey asks. She sounds as nervous as I am

"Because I wanted to make sure" 

"Make sure of what?" I ask

"That I could congratulate you" he says, still smiling 

"Congratulate me?" Now I'm confused

"Yes, congratulate you. I'll need to run a specific test to be 100% sure... But right now, I'm 99% sure, that you're two months pregnant."


	15. Good news and a kiss

December 1st, Pearl Harbor (later that day) 

Margaret's POV

"IM GOING TO BE AN UNCLE!!" Mikey shouts as he jumps of happiness around my bungalows living room 

"Mikey please calm down! You'll hurt yourself!" I ask, but he doesn't listen

"IM GOING TO BE AN UNCLE! IM GOING TO BE AN UNCLE!!" He chants as he skips around the room like a 5 year old with his crutch in the air

Mikey's been able to walk for the past month but he still needs to use a crutch for support. The doctors say that he's been making great progress but that he still needs to take it slow. Clearly, Mikey forgot the meaning of taking it slow... 

Suddenly he stops and turns around to face me, eyes wide open, 

"Boy or girl?" He askes

"I don't know yet" 

"Have you thought about names?"

"Mikey, I only found out I was pregnant two hours ago!" 

"We need to tell Gee!" 

"Oh no we don't!" 

"What? Why not?! It's his baby!... Isn't it?" He frowns

"Of course it is Michael! But I don't want him to worry about me. He has enough to think about!" 

"But he'll be so happy! You have to tell him!" He pleas

"And I will. But when the time is right! I don't want him to worry about me or the baby... Besides, he might be coming home soon. I'll tell him when he arrives. That would be an even bigger surprise!" 

"What do you mean he could be coming home? Do you know something I don't? Have they told you anything?" 

"I don't know anything certain. But there has been some talk about bringing our boys home... I just hope it's true..." I sigh. Mikey sits next to me on the sofa and puts his arm around my shoulders to comfort me. 

Mikey and I have become good friends over the past few months since he arrived. I feel like he's my best friend. Or better yet, my brother.

"Don't worry Mags. He will come home and you'll be a family" he says giving me a small sideways hug

I look at him and smile, "I hope so Mikey... I really do..." 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Mikey's POV

I'm sitting in a small café having some coffee with Kristin after dinner. 

We aren't exactly dating... Yet... But we've become rather close with each other. I like her, I really do! And I think she likes me the same way... I've just been a little bit scared of making the first move... 

"Mikey? Are you listening to me?" Kristin asks, snapping me out of my thoughts. I didn't realize that I was lost inside my head 

"I'm sorry Kris, I didn't mean to be rude. I was just thinking about something..." 

"Well I can see that!" She says smiling, "but what's the matter? What were you thinking about?" She asks taking another sip of her coffee

"It's just... This whole situation with Margaret and my brother..." 

"What do you mean? You don't approve?" 

"No that's not it! I couldn't be happier for them! I love them both! Mags is like a sister to me and Gerard is on cloud nine when it comes to her! And now they're going to have a baby! It's perfect!" 

"Then what's the problem?" She asks 

"It's too perfect! Everything is just going so well for them! Even though Gerard isn't here, they're so happy together and I'm... I just..."

"I don't understand Mikey, don't you want them to be happy? Are you jealous or something?" 

"No! Of course not!" 

"Then what is it?" 

"I'm scared! I'm scared that everything will go wrong for them! All I want is for them to be happy, but what if that doesn't happen? What if something happens to my brother? What if he doesn't come home? I can't stand the idea of him not being here for me, for Margaret or for his unborn child!" I didn't realize I started to cry until Kristin reached for my face and cleared the tears from under my eyes with her thumb.

She leaves her hand on my cheek gently caressing my scars while she smiles at me.

"Your a good brother Michael Way. You care so much for your brother and for his happiness." 

"He's my best friend Kris... I can't loose him..." I sob a little 

"And you won't. I'm sure nothing will happen to Gerard. He will come home to be with you and with Margaret and the baby. And before you know it, you'll be an uncle!" 

After drinking our coffees I give Kris a ride home. I park in front of the bungalow and turn around to face her

"I'm sorry I broke down like that... You shouldn't have to see me cry." I look down a little embarrassed. But soon after I feel her fingers under my chin lifting my head up so I can look at her again

"You can talk to me about whatever you want, whenever you want. I will never judge you. And the fact that you just told me what scared you, without hesitation, just confirmed what I already knew..." 

"And what's that?" I ask a bit confused 

She leans in closer to me. So close I can feel her breath on my face. My heart starts to race. My God she smells like strawberries. Her eyes shift from my lips to my eyes. She stares right into them. I have a lump in my throat and my heart feels like it's about to jump out of my chest. She's so close.

"That you're a good man..." She whispers. She closes her eyes slowly and gently kisses my lips. A small peck. Not even enough for me to taste her lips. She pulls away smiling at me with her cheeks blushed. 

"Goodnight Mikey" she says, starting to turn away and opening the car door. 

I grab her hand, stopping her from leaving. She turns around to face me, her eyes wide. I lean in closer to her and place my hand on the back of her neck. Before she can say anything I kiss her. At first, we were so surprised by what was happening, that our lips didn't move. But after a few seconds she melts into the kiss and so do I. It's not a hungry kiss, and it probably isn't the best one, seeing that I never kissed a girl before. But I put every emotion I have into it. Our lips move in sync. The more we kiss the more I realize how stupid I was for not doing this earlier and how I really feel about her... I think I might love her... 

She's the first one the break the kiss. Before she pulls away, she places another small kiss, like the one before, on my lips. When she pulls away, we both stare into each other's eyes. 

I don't know how long we stayed that way, but a voice broke our state of hypnosis making us both jump in surprise, 

"Kris! Are you coming inside or what?" Margaret is standing at the door with a huge grin on her face with Lindsey and Jamia behind her, giggling like crazy. 

Kristin and I turn the same color of a tomato. She turns around to face me and whispers a small and barely inaudible "Bye" before she's out of the car and running inside. 

Margaret steps aside to let her in and Lindsey and Jamia jump her with questions. Margaret stares at me still smiling. I can feel my cheeks burning as I wave goodbye and say, " 'Night Mags" 

" 'Night Mikey! Drive home safe!" She waves back, clearly trying to control her laughter

I start the car and pull away from the bungalow and back into town, to my small one bedroom apartment. As I'm driving, I can't help but start laughing about everything that just happened. Looks like I have a girlfriend... I can't wait to tell my brother about this! Maybe I'll tell him the same day that Mags tells him about the baby. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

December 3rd, Pearl Harbor 

Margaret's POV

I've been banging on Mikey's door for ten minutes now. I know it's too early for him to be up, but this is important! 

"MIKEY OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!" 

"ALRIGHT IM COMING! Jeez Mags!" 

He finally opens the door in his pajama pants and no shirt, scratching his head and squinting his eyes because he forgot to put on his glasses. Before he can say anything I wave a piece of paper in his face, 

"HE'S COMING HOME!!" 

"Who's coming home?" He asks in the middle of a yawn 

"Who do you think?! Gerard is coming home!!" I say. I'm smiling so much I feel like my face is about to split into two 

Mikey stares at me wide eyed, "What did you say?" 

"Gerard is finally coming home Mikey! I just got his letter! They're bringing our boys home!" 

Before I know it, Mikey is hugging me so tightly that he lifts me off the ground. 

"He's coming home! We're going to be a family!" He says. 

"Mikey... Can't... breath" 

He puts me down and looks at me. He's crying and so am I. 

"Is this true? Or am I still sleeping? He asks

"No Mikey, you're not sleeping. Gee really is coming home." 

He hugs me again and we stay like that for a while, taking in each other's happiness.


	16. Finally

December 3rd, England 

*time stamp: 1200 hours*

Gerard's POV 

I'm running. I'm running as fast as I can. My heart is racing and I'm sweating all over. I need to get to the guys as fast as I possibly can. 

The mess hall doors come into view after what it seems like a maze of corridors. One last boost of energy and I manage to reach the doors. 

I opened them up with a bang. Both doors slamming against the wall. I don't care that everyone's looking at me. 

I search for the guys. When I finally spot them, in a table near the window I run over to them ignoring the protests of the other soldiers as I push them aside to reach my friends. 

Frank sees me coming and stands up looking concerned. Before he can say anything I embrace him in a tight hug. 

"What the hell Gee?! What's wrong?!" He asks

I pull away but still holding him close to me. I look over at Ray that has the same look of concern on his face

"Gerard, why are you crying?! What happened?!" Ray asks

I didn't know I was crying. I quickly pull away and try to dry my eyes with the back of my hand. 

Frank grabs my shoulders and shakes me

"Gerard! What the fuck happened?! What's wrong?!" 

Finally I find the strength to speak. As soon as the words leave my mouth, my face almost splits into two with the biggest smile I could manage

"Nothing's wrong! Everything is perfect! This is the best day ever!" 

"Then why are you crying?" Ray asks stepping around the table to stand next to Frank

"Because we're going home" I finally say before I start to cry with happiness again

"What did you say?!" "Say that again!" They both say at the same time

"We're. Going. Home. WE'RE GOING HOME!!" I shout waving my arms in the air and jumping with happiness! 

"NO FUCKING WAY!" Frank shouts

"Are you serious?!" Ray asks in a small voice. He looks like he's about to pass out

"Yes! I just heard the news! All of us, our entire team, every american soldier is going home!" 

Before I can say anything else, Frank and Ray pull me in for a tight hug. We're all crying and jumping around like little kids, chanting "we're going home". 

When they finally release me, we all start to laugh as we finally realize that everyone was staring at us like we were crazy. But we didn't care. 

"When?" Ray asks

"Today. They're just giving us time to pack up our few belongings. We leave tonight at 2100 hours." I tell them

"Then we better get a move on then!" Frank says excitedly, grabbing his things and running out of the mess hall. Me and Ray follow him to our dorms where we start to pack whatever belongings we have there. 

It doesn't take us a lot of time to pack everything. After we're finished, we sit in our bunks in silence, taking in the fact that we're actually going back to the States. 

"What are we gonna do when we get home?" Frank asks

"I have no idea... Maybe devote myself to music... Maybe teaching, or playing in clubs." Ray says. Frank chuckles 

"That sounds like a nice plan! How 'bout you Gee?" 

"I'm gonna ask her to marry me." I say

"You're WHAT?!" They both ask at the same time

"I'm gonna arrive in New York and ask to be transferred to Pearl Harbor. I need to be with Mikey. And when I get there, I'm gonna find Mags, get down on one knee and ask her to marry me. And I'm never leaving her side again." 

Ray and Frank both stare at me. They're eyes blinking several time, almost cartoonish. Ray is the first one to come out of his daze. 

"Well then Lieutenant Way, I'll be accompanying you to Hawaii." 

"What? Why?" I ask

"Because there's no way in hell I'm going to miss my best friend proposing to the girl of his dreams!" 

"Like wise! Furthermore, I'm going to get a camera and record to whole thing!" Frank says

We all start to laugh. After a while, Frank and Ray start talking to each other about music and I retreat into my own thoughts. 

I'm finally going home. I'm finally going yo see her. After months of daydreaming about having her in my arms once more, I'm finally a few days away from that dream becoming a reality. 

I'm finally going to see her. That brown haired beauty of mine...

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

England, *time stamp: 2100 hours* 

This time we're traveling by aircraft carrier. It will take us four days to reach New York, then we need to catch a plane to Pearl Harbor. If there aren't any delays, we should arrive there on the 7th around breakfast time. 

I can't control my enthusiasm. Frank says that I have a glow of happiness around me that almost seems unreal. 

They suggest that I should occupy my mind with something other than Margaret during the trip, otherwise I might go crazy. 

That's not a bad idea. I might write on my journal. I need to write down everything that's happened during my time here. 

Yes, that's what I'll do. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
December 6th, New York 

*time stamp: 2100 hours* 

When we finally arrive in New York, we ask to be taken to the Air Force base so that we can get on a plane to Pearl Harbor. 

When we get there, they tell us that there's a cargo plane leaving at 2300 hours with an estimated time of arrival at 0700 hours in Pearl Harbor. 

"Just in time for breakfast" I say to the guys. 

We all smile at each other and make our way over to the plane. 

Just a few more ours. I've waited months for this. I can wait just a few more ours...

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*time stamp: 0700 hours* 

I must have fallen asleep because before I knew it, Frank was poking my arm asking me to wake up

"Wake up sleeping beauty! We just landed" he says, with a huge smile on his face

"Finally!" I smiled back


	17. At the end of the world Pt.1

December 7th, Pearl Harbor

*Time stamp: 0700 hours* 

Gerard's POV

Before I could even set foot on the ground, Mikey was running up to me and engulfing me in a bear hug. 

I held him as tightly as I could. I could feel his tears in my neck. I was crying as well

"You're here! You're finally here!" He says between sobs which are muffled by my jacket

I pull away a bit so I can look at his face. 

"My brother! I've missed you so much!" I tell him, kissing him on the forehead and hugging him again. 

It's hard being away from Margaret, but it's harder being away from Mikey. Although I knew he was safe here, and that was all I ever wanted, flying without him as my wing man was not the same. He's Kobra Kid. Without him, our team isn't complete. We've never been separated. He's my best friend. 

After hugging for what it seemed like forever, we finally pull away so that Frank and Ray can hug him as well. As they do, I look around expecting to see Mags, but she's no where in sight. I frown. "Why isn't she here?" I thought, "Doesn't she want to see me?" 

"Hey Mikey... Where's Margaret?" I ask

"She had a meeting this morning at HQ. She couldn't get away from it. She said that she'll be meeting us at a café next to the cinema" he says, pulling away from Ray's bear hug. 

I can't help but feel a little disappointed. All I wanted was to see her, and she's not even here. Sure, she was at a meeting. I mean, it's her job! But still...

"Don't worry Gee!" Frank says shaking my shoulders, "you'll have plenty of time to tell her everything you want" he smirks at that last bit

"Tell her what?" Mikey asks

"You'll just have to wait and see" I say, smiling at my baby brother and bumping his shoulder. 

Mikey gives me a weird look and tells us that we should get going to the café. He says that Margaret shouldn't take to long to get there. 

I can't wait to see her. My stomach doesn't has butterflies in it, it has birds! I'm so excited I might feel sick. 

As we're walking to the café, I can't help but notice that Mikey walks with a small limp now. And that the burn marks from the fire cover his entire right half, from his face to his arms and hands. My heart tightens when I see his scars. All I can think about is that I'm responsible for them. I'm the one who put him in danger...

"Gerard! You there buddy?" Ray snaps his fingers in front of my eyes, which makes me jump in surprise 

"W-what?" I stutter and they laugh 

"Never mind him! His probably daydreaming about his precious Mags" Franks says in a funny voice and batting his eyelashes 

I push him playfully and we all start to laugh. 

We finally arrive at the café, we sit down and Mikey orders coffee and four shots of whiskey. 

"It's not even 8 o'clock Mikey! What's the whiskey for?" I ask, surprised by his weird action

"Now that we're all finally together, we need to have a toast." He says

"A toast? To who?" I ask

"To Bob." Mikey says

We remain silent until the waitress brings us our drinks. When she does, we all lift our drinks and toast together 

"To Bob. Our wing man. Our drummer. Our friend. Our brother." Ray says lifting his glass

"To Bob" we all say together as we cling our glasses and drink the whiskey in one swallow.

After we drink, Frank, Ray and Mikey start talking to each other, talking about what happened while they were apart. But I can't stop looking at the door expecting her to come in at any second.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Margaret's POV

I told Mikey to tell Gerard that I was at a meeting and that I would meet them afterwards at the café. 

As stupid as it may sound, I stayed behind because I wanted to get ready properly! I wanted to look nice for him. 

And after changing dresses, shoes, hairstyles and makeup for the 50th time, I was finally satisfied with the way I looked. 

I left the house and got in a taxi. During the entire ride I couldn't stop fidgeting. My stomach was turning from excitement and my palms were sweaty.

After months of being apart, I'm finally going to see him. My love. My Gerard. I was going to tell him how much I loved him and how much I missed him. But above everything else, I need to tell him, that he's going to be a father. 

We were a few blocks away from the café but the taxi was stuck in traffic. I told him that I was getting off there and that I would walk the rest of the way. 

The fresh air did some good to my nerves. At least I stopped sweating.

The café was just a block away. I could see the sign in the distance. This is finally it! I'm finally going to... 

"WATCH OUT!!!!!!"


	18. At the end of the world Pt.2

December 7th, Pearl Harbor

Gerard's POV

"WATCH OUT!!!"   
The sound of a bomb dropping and exploding makes us all jump out of our seats. The impact breaks the café windows. There are people screaming and running around in panic. We all run outside to see what's going on. 

Bombs are dropping like rain drops. The sky is covered with Japanese airplanes. It was madness. 

"We need to get to our planes!" Ray shouts over the screams

"No, I need to find Mags!" I say

"No, I need to find Kristin!" Mikey says at the same time

"Who's Kristin?" I ask

"Not the time Gerard!" Frank shouts covering his head from the things flying around

"She's my girlfriend! Please Gerard I need to go find her!" He begs

"No! You're staying here with me! I'm not leaving you out of my sight!" 

"Gerard we have to get out of here!" Ray shouts

"Gee please! She's a nurse! She's probably at the hospital right now! If I find her I'll be at the hospital where it's safe!" Mikey begs again

He has a point but I don't want to let them out of my sight. I just got him back! 

"GERARD! WE NEED TO MOVE!" Frank yells

"Alright! Go! Ray, Frank, you go with him! Make sure you ALL stay alive you hear?!" I yell at them 

Before Mikey starts running I grab his arm and make him turn around to face me, 

"You stay alive, you hear me?! Stay alive!" 

"I love you Gee" he says and then starts running, but only Ray is following him. Frank is standing next to me

"There's no way I'm letting go look for Margaret on your own!" He says

"Frank go with them! You'll be safe with them!"

"Not a chance! Now let's go!" 

I nod at him realizing that there isn't time to argue. 

More bombs fall around us. There are people running everywhere in panic, trampling each other. The dead cover the pavement. Some cars are abandoned in the middle of the streets while others drive around trying to escape, not caring about who they hit. It's hell. Between the shouts and the warning sirens, me and Frank can hardly hear each other. 

We're running around the streets calling Margaret's name. I need to find her. Dear God I need to find her! And she needs to be alive! Please be alive, please be alive! 

I don't know how long we've been looking for her. It looks like forever. I'm starting to loose hope. My eyes start to sting with tears. Please God, let her be alive! 

"MARGARET!" I yell one more time

"MARGARET!!" Frank echoes me, but there's still no answer

"MARG..."

"GERARD!" I hear. I spin around looking for the source of the voice. Was I dreaming? Did I imagine it? 

"MARGARET!! MARGARET WHERE ARE YOU?!" I yell again

"GERARD! FRANK! OVER HERE!" I turn around. There. On the other side of the street. Crouching down behind a car. Her face covered with ash and dust. Her dress torn at the hem and barefoot. But alive! My love is alive! 

"MARGARET!" I yell. A smile of relief appears on my face. 

I start running towards her but a bomb drops close to us, making rocks and glass fly everywhere. Margaret takes cover behind the car again as me and Frank take cover in a nearby ally. 

I look over at her again. She's in panic, looking over at me, not knowing what to do. 

"MARGARET YOU HAVE TO RUN! RUN OVER HERE! NOW!" 

"I CAN'T!" 

"SWEETHEART YOU HAVE TO DO IT!! RUN OVER HERE NOW!!" 

"Gerard, you need to go get her! She can't move! She's to scared!" Frank tells me

I look over at Margaret again. He's right. She won't move. 

"BABY IM COMING TO GET YOU! JUST DONT MOVE!" 

I see her nod. I take a few deep breaths and start to run towards her. 

I'm just a few steps away from the car. I can almost touch her...   
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When I open my eyes again, I'm staring up at the sky. My ears are ringing. There are clouds of dust all around me... what happened?


	19. At the end of the world Pt.3

(A/N- this chapter begins in Margaret's POV, the moment the bombs start to fall) 

Margaret's POV

"WATCH OUT" 

A bomb drops at the end of the street. Rocks, glass, cement, dust fly everywhere around us. People scream as more bombs start to drop one after the other. The sounds of people screaming in panic, the warning sirens and the various bombs is defending. Cars racing, people running around and against each other. 

My brain doesn't process what's happening until a woman runs into me, knocking us both down. As soon as I get up on my feet again, the first thoughts run through my head, 

"Run." 

And so I do. I need to find Gerard. He's supposed to be at the café waiting for me, so that's where I'm headed. 

But the task proves to be more difficult than anticipated. The amount of people running into me makes it hard for me to run the opposite direction. More bombs fall covering me and everyone else with dust. Every once in a while, I cover my face to protect my eyes from the glass that explodes around me with the impact. I feel some shards of it knick my skin and leaving scratches. Another bomb falls, closer this time, and the impact makes me fly into a wall. I land on the ground and scrape my knees. It hurts, but I need to keep running. I need to get to Gerard. 

I remove my shoes and throw them away, making it easier for me to run. I look around and the café is just a few blocks away. I need to reach it. As I start to get up and start running, more bombs drop. More screams. More panic. Dead bodies cover the streets. Some died from the bombs, other from being trampled over, other for being hit by the several cars that try to escape certain death. 

I take cover behind a car, trying to protect myself as much as I can before I can start running again. I look around and see some soldiers trying to help civilians, other soldiers run in the direction of the base. I see men in panic, and women trying to keep it together in order to protect her children as she pulls them away from their father who lays dying in the street. 

"I need to move."   
"You have to run Margaret!"   
"Find Gerard!"   
"Goddammit Margaret MOVE!"   
"Run! Just keep running" 

I start to panic. My mind is racing. I know what I have to do, but my legs just don't work. I'm frozen behind the car, crouching and with my arms protecting my head. 

"You're going to die if you don't move!"   
"You need to run!"   
"MOVE MARAGARET!"   
"RUN!" 

"MARGARET" the sound of my name being called awakes me from my panicked state. I must be dreaming. My mind is playing tricks on me because it sounded just like...

"MARGARET!!" It is him!

"GERARD" I call, trying to see where his voice is coming from

"MARGARET!! MARGARET WHERE ARE YOU?" 

That's when I see him. Standing in the middle of the street with Frank next to him. 

"GERARD! FRANK! OVER HERE!" I yell. They both turn around and finally see me. 

As soon as our eyes lock together, the whole world seems to stop. There he is. As beautiful as ever. Is uniform covers in dust, and his hair out of place, but to me, he never looked more perfect. A smile of relief appears on his face as soon as he sees me.   
I see him starting to run towards but another bomb drops at the end of the street. Gerard and Frank retreat into a nearby ally as I crouch down again behind the car, covering my face. 

I look over at him again. He looks so scared. 

"MARGARET YOU HAVE TO RUN! RUN OVER HERE! NOW!" He yells

I try to move, but I'm still frozen in place. My body doesn't seem to want to work

"I CAN'T" I yell back. God! Why can't I move?!

"SWEETHEART YOU HAVE TO DO IT! RUN OVER HERE NOW!" He yells again

I try to move again. My legs don't move. They feel numb. I feel numb. The adrenaline that was rushing through my veins before has turned into complete panic. 

I see Frank telling Gerard something as they both look my way. I see Gerard swallowing his fear and nodding at whatever Frank just said. 

"SWEETHEART IM COMING TO GET YOU! JUST DONT MOVE!" He yells at me

I nod, and see him start to run towards me.  
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My mind is hazy. My ears are ringing. There are clouds of dust all around me. The world seems to move at a much slower pace. What happened? I can't tell what happened. 

I realize that I'm laying down on the ground, looking up at the smoke covered sky. How did I get here? 

I try to move. But my body won't let me. But this isn't the same feeling as before. The feeling of panic is gone. This one is different. I can't feel anything. My whole body, from the neck down, just isn't moving. 

I lift my head a bit to try and see if something is pinning me down. 

The first thing I see, is red. A massive puddle of red taints the front of my once white dress. And in the middle of my chest, is a large metal bar sticking out. 

"NOOOOOOOOOO! MARGARET!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Please Please Please Please Pleeeeeeeeeease don't hate me... Yet... 
> 
> Votes and comments are always welcome :) 
> 
> Stay safe Killjoys <3


	20. Don't leave me

Gerard's POV

My dizziness was caused by a bomb hitting the streets just a few feet away from me. 

How I survived the impact, I don't know. 

I look around trying to get my head together and see Frank running towards me from the ally, looking terrified.

"Gee..." He says, followed by a cough, "you alright?" 

"Yeah..." I grunt

Suddenly, Margaret's image appears in my head. I was almost reaching her, but then the bomb hit. 

I look around searching for her. I find her laying on the ground just a few feet away from where she was crouching behind the car. 

I stand up and start walking towards her. But what I see next, makes my blood freeze. 

Margaret is alive, but her dress is covered in blood. And right in the middle of her chest, was metal bar sticking out. 

"NOOOOOOOOOO! MARGARET!!!!" I scream and star running towards her. I reach and kneel down next to her holding her in my arms. 

"Baby! Baby can you hear me?!" I ask in desperation 

"Gee..." She says, her voice weak

"Hang on baby, I'll take you to the hospital. You'll be alright!" 

"G-Gerard... I-I can't feel m-my body... W-what's h-ha-happening?" 

"It's alright sweetheart.. I'm going to take you to the hospital, and you'll be alright..." I'm sobbing. 

Frank is standing next to me. I look up at him and see that he's crying as well. I'm desperate. I don't know what to do. 

"Gerard..." I look down at her. She looks so pale... "I'm n-not going to make it... Am I?"

"Shhh... Don't say that baby... Of course you'll make it... I'm going to take you to the hospital, and you'll be alright... Won't she Frank?" I look up at my friend and ask for reassurance... He has none

I feel her fingers brush against my chin and I look down at her again

"You look so handsome... Just like I remembered..." She says

"And you look beautiful... So beautiful... My brown haired beauty..." 

"I love you G-Gerard... So much..." 

"I love you too Margaret. I love you so much baby." I lean down and kiss her lips

She feels so cold. Her lips aren't moving. I break the kiss and look at her. Her eyes are closed. There's no breath. 

"Mags? Mags look at me!" I say, shaking her shoulders a bit

"Oh God!" I hear Frank cry, landing on his knees next to me and sobbing

"Margaret! Come on baby open your eyes!" 

"Gerard..." Frank calls, placing a hand on my shoulder, but I ignore him

"Margaret! Margaret please wake up! Margaret look at me!! Open your eyes!" I start to panic, "Baby please! Baby don't leave me!!! I can't do this without you!! Come on Mags just open your eyes!!" My tears are rolling down my cheeks and landing on her pale face. 

"Gee..." Frank calls again, and I look at him, "she's gone..." 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The bombs are still falling. We can't stay in the middle of the streets.

I don't feel anything. I stopped crying. I'm carrying Margaret's body to the hospital. I won't leave her on the street. 

Frank is running next to me. Every now and then he looks over at me looking concerned, but mostly, he just walks with his head down. 

We reach the hospital. It's a mess. There are bodies everywhere, spreading around the garden at the entrance of the hospital. Some are alive and screaming in pain, others just don't move. 

I look around searching for Mikey and Ray. I see them both helping three blood covered nurses carrying a soldier over to the hospital steps so he can lay down. 

I walk over to them and Mikey sees me. He's face turns into a huge smile of relief as he signals Ray and the nurses of our arrival. 

They all look over at us and start running in our direction. They all look so happy. 

"Gee! Frank! Thank God you're alright!! Did you find Mags?" Mikey yells 

Frank looks over at me and starts to cry again. I don't react. 

"Gee... What..." Mikey starts to ask, but soon notices who I'm carrying in my arms

His smile drops. His gaze switches between me, Margaret and Frank. That's when he realizes what happened, 

"Nononononononono! Mags! No! She can't.. Not now! No..." He starts to cry and reaches to touch her

"Oh my God! Margaret! No!" The nurses start to cry as well

I lay her down on the ground and Mikey follows my actions. The girls kneel down next to him and cry as well. 

Ray walks over to me and tries to hug me, but I push him away. He looks at me confused, but I look over at the girls.

"Take care of her." I say, then turn around and start to walk away. 

Frank runs over to me and tries to stop me, "Gerard where are you going?" 

"To put an end to this." It's all I say, as I make my way to the air base. 

Frank calls Ray and Mikey over, and all four of us run to our planes. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The planes are fueled and ready for lift off. The guns are charged. It's time to do our job. 

We have a green light for take off. 

"Are you ready Ray?" I call 

"Yeah" he replies 

"How about you Frank?" I ask

"Oh I'm there baby." He says, his voice filled with anger

"How about you Mikey?" I call

"Fucking ready." I says, "And you Gerard?" 

"I'll be alright. Let's do this..."


	21. Helena

December 10th, Pearl Harbor

Gerard's POV

There are times in life when you think that nothing lasts forever. In those moments, you just have to live as much as you can. Enjoy everything that life has to offer.  
But there are other times, rare ones, where you actually belive, that some things can last forever. That you'll be able to live a normal life. That's the kind of thought that keeps you going. Keeps you alive, fighting. Keeps you grounded. With you're eyes on the target.

I always thought that when this is over, I would get to go back home to Jersey. And I would take her with me. We could buy a house with a white picket fence, have some kids, maybe a dog. Sleep in on Saturdays, have barbecues on Sundays. Make love to eachother, grow old together... That's what I always thought would happen...

I've never been so wrong in my entire life... 

As I stand now next to her coffin, the Stars and Stripes covering it, I can't help but feel completely numb. I don't think I've cried ever since she gave her last breath in my arms. 

I feel hollow. Empty. Nothing matters anymore. My wish was that I had died in battle, just so I can be with her. Unfortunately, fate would not have it, forcing me to live another day in misery and loneliness. 

I don't know how long I've been standing there, just looking down at her coffin. Mikey wanted to stay next to me, but I think that after a few hours he couldn't stand being there anymore, so he just left. I don't blame him. I'm not the best company right now. 

Tomorrow she, and the other hundreds that have died in battle, will be transported back to the mainland so they can be properly buried in their hometowns. And these are the ones who's bodies were recovered. For some, their coffins are the sea, for others, are the eight ships that sunk in that hell of a morning. 

I wanted to go with her. To see that she's buried next to her brother as she would've wanted it. But I'm not allowed to. "You're not family" they told me. Mikey and Ray had to drag me away from the officer in charge of the transports, otherwise I would have punched him. 

In the midst of all my thoughts, I didn't notice someone approaching me until they spoke, 

"Gerard?" Said a woman 

I turned around to face whoever called and saw a young girl, probably the same age as Margaret, with long black hair and kind eyes. She was holding a flower crown made of white roses. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you. It's just that you looked like you were sleeping while standing" she smiled a bit, "I was just making sure you were still here" 

I didn't answer her, I didn't have the strength. I knew she was one of Margaret's friends. I recognize her from the hospital. 

"I'm Lindsey. We've never been properly introduced" she says, giving me her hand to shake. I do so, but just keep staring at her. 

After a while of just looking at each other I speak, 

"You were at the hospital when..."

"Yes... I was..." Her face drops a bit as she clearly remembers the events of that day

I look down at the crown she's carrying, "those are pretty" I tell her

"What?... Oh! Yes. She loves roses. They're her favorite!... I mean... Were here favorite" 

"I never knew that..." I say

"Oh... Well... It probably never came up..." She gives me a small smile trying to reassure me. 

I turn back to Margaret's coffin. I don't feel like talking anymore. I hear Lindsey sigh and watch her place the crown on top of the flag. I hear her starting to walk away but she suddenly stops.

"She wasn't in a meeting" she says, her back turned to me

"I'm sorry?" I ask, confused

"The day she... The day you arrived. Mikey told you Margaret was at a meeting when she really wasn't. He... We made that up." 

"Why? I don't..." 

"She was so excited to see you that morning. She wanted to look her best for you. That's why she stayed behind. That morning, she was supposed to go with Mikey to pick you up. But when he arrived, Margaret was nowhere near being ready. She was running around the house like a mad woman, trying to figure out what to wear." Lindsey says with a smile on her face as she remembers her friend. "It was such an important day for her. She was finally going to see you and..." 

"And?" 

"And give you the good news..." She says looking down at her feet

"What good news?" 

"I... I shouldn't. The guys told me not to. I just..." 

"Lindsey. Tell me. What news did Margaret wanted to tell me?" 

"It's no use. She's gone. It won't make any difference other than give you more pain." 

"Tell me!" 

"But..." 

"Tell me!!" I shout at her making her jump back a little. I try to calm down again

"Lindsey... Please... Tell me what was it. I don't care what you think this will do to me, just..." 

"She was pregnant." She blurts out 

The world around me stops moving. Did I actually just hear that? 

"W-what?" I try to say, but my voice isn't working

"She was pregnant. That was the big news. She found out a few weeks ago just before she found out you were coming back." 

"How? W-why?..." I can't speak. 

"If your wondering if it's yours, it is... was" she says, "And she chose not to tell you while you were in England because she was afraid that you would be worried about her." 

The world is spinning. My legs are shaking. My palms are sweating. 

"Gerard? Are you okay?" 

I don't hear anything else after I plunge into darkness. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What were you thinking?! Why did you have to tell him!" I can hear someone whispering shouting. It sounds like Mikey

"He had a right to know! We couldn't just leave him in the dark!" Lindsey? 

"There was no point to it! You just made had a nervous breakdown because of what you told him!" Mikey starts to raise his voice. It's definitely him. 

"So you were planning on hiding this from him?! For how long?" Another voice speaks up, but I don't recognize it. It's another girl. 

"For as long as it took! Kris, there was no point on hurting him like this! She just gave him more pain to bear!" 

"Mikey?" I try to say, but my throat is dry. I feel someone move closer to me and hold my hand

"I'm here Gee." He says

"Wh-where am I? What happened?" 

"You passed out Gee. You've been unconscious for two days now!" 

"T-two days?" I try to open my eyes. I am in fact in the hospital. Mikey is standing next to me while Lindsey and other three girls stand on the other side of the bed. At the end, looking at me with every worry in the world, are Frank and Ray. 

"What do you remember?" Mikey asks

"I remember being in the hangar, next to Margaret's coffin. Then Lindsey came by, we talked. She said..." Everything starts to comeback. Everything that Lindsey said. Mags was pregnant. She was pregnant with my child. 

"Is... Is it true? Was she pregnant?" I ask Mikey 

He nods slowly, avoiding looking me in the eyes

My whole world breaks down right there. All the tears I've been fighting back since she died came flooding back. My entire body hurts. My heart feels like it's going to jump out of my chest for beating so fast. 

In my state of desperation I crawl into a small ball and let my tears flow. I can feel Mikey trying to hug me and comfort me, but I push him away. He stays there, looking hurt, but he doesn't move. 

The girls leave and Frank and Ray sit down next to Mikey. There's not much any of them can do. So they just let me cry. 

After what it seemed like hours, my tears finally run dry. 

The guys are still sitting next to my bed. They haven't moved. 

"Did you knew?" I ask 

"Did I knew what Gee?" Mikey answers

"Did you knew she was pregnant?" 

"I did. She told me when she found out." 

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

"She asked me not to. She said that she didn't want you to worry." 

"Boy or girl?"

"I'm sorry?" He asks confused 

"Was she having a boy or a girl?" I ask again 

"She didn't know yet... Although... Kristin told me that Mags was wishing it was a girl..." 

"A girl..." I whisper. The thoughts of having a daughter make my heart beat faster again. I would've loved having a baby girl... I would've spoiled her rotten. 

"Yeah... She even started thinking about names..." Mikey said, breaking my dream

"What names?" 

"Gee... I don't think..." 

"What names?" I ask again

Mikey sighs before he answers. He stills a quick glance at Frank and Ray who simply shrug, not knowing what to say, 

"She thought about Arthur James, if it was a boy... She wanted to combine our middle names... And..." 

"Go on." I say

"I told her about grandma... And Mags said that... If she had a girl... She wanted to name her after her... She wanted to name the baby Helena... Helena Rose." 

Helena... My baby Helena... Margaret, Gerard and Helena. That was supposed to be my future if I hadn't lost her... 

If she had just came to pick me up with Mikey when she was supposed to... Why did she had to stay behind? She would've looked beautiful in anything... 

But there's no use now. No use in thinking "what if?". She's gone. And she's never coming back. 

The day she died, was the day my world ended. 

My soul died the day I lost her.... My brown haired beauty...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried while writing this. No joke.   
> There are still two more chapters to come.   
> As always, votes and comments are more than welcomed and appreciated :)   
> Stay safe Killjoys <3


	22. The Book

New York City, 28th of June, 1984

The awful sound of the phone rings right next to my ears. I jump at the sound, frightened thinking that it's one of the kids who started to cry or is calling my name. When my brain finally processes what's happening, I look over at my nightstand where the phone is ringing and the alarm clock says that it's 2am. Who could be calling me at 2am on a Thursday night? 

By my side Kellin stirs turns over to my side. 

"B what the hell?" 

"I don't know babe. Go back to sleep." 

I sit up on the bed and turn on the light, picking up the phone and answering it. 

"Hello?" 

"B? Is that you?" 

"Uncle Mikey?" 

"Hi sweetie. Sorry I woke you up. I know it's not the proper time to be calling you." He says

"It's fine. What's wrong?" 

"I... B, this is... difficult..." 

"What's difficult? Uncle Mikey, what's wrong? What happened?" I start to get nervous 

By my side, KELLIN sees my distress and sits up next to me, staring at me waiting for me to give him some clue of what was happening. 

"Sweetheart... It's your dad..." 

"My dad? What's wrong with my dad?" 

"Bandit... Your dad just died..." 

______________________________________________________________________________

"Bandit I don't want you going to Los Angeles all by yourself! I'm going with you." 

"Kellin, it's fine! I'll be fine. I'll just be there for a couple of days. Besides, you have work and someone needs to stay home and take care of the kids." 

After last nights phone call, I booked the earliest flight to Los Angeles I could find. Mom and Dad moved there when they retired. Uncle Mikey and Aunt Kristin moved there too. Uncle Frank and Aunt Jamia and Uncle Ray and Aunt Krista stayed in New Jersey for a few years but soon moved to LA just to be closer to their friends. 

"We could drop them off at my mothers. Please B. I want to come with you. I want to be there for you... I know how close you were to your dad..." Kellin says, moving towards and holding my hand. He turns me away from my packing so I'm looking at him. He moves one hand to my face and gently strokes my cheek. He's deeply worried about me, I can tell. But I don't want him to drop everything. 

"I'll be fine baby. You worry to much about me" I tell him, with a small smile on my lips

"That's because I love you." He says, leaning towards me and placing a gentle kiss on my lips. After so many years of marriage, his lips still taste and feel the same. Soft and gentle, and always with a lingering taste of coffee in them. 

"I know. And I love you too." I tell him, my lips still brushing against his. 

After a while, he lets go of me so I can continue to pack my bag. When everything is finished, I call a cab to take me to the airport. I say goodbye to Kellin and to my children and leave. 

As soon as I arrive at the airport, I make my way to a pay phone to call my mom. And after a few rings, she picks up. 

"Hey mom" 

"Hello sweetheart, how are you? Why are you calling me so early?" 

"I'm at the airport mommy. I'm going to LA to see you." 

"Sweetheart you don't need to come so early... What about your work? What about the babies?" 

"The kids stayed with Kellin at home. I'm going by myself." 

"By yourself? B I don't think..." 

"Mom I gotta go. I'll see you in a few hours okay?" 

"Okay baby. I'll see you soon. Mommy loves you." 

"Love you too. Bye." 

I hang up the phone and make my way to the boarding gate. After a few hours I board the plane and take my sit. The plane takes off and I spend the rest of the flight thinking about my dad and trying to fight back the tears. 

______________________________________________________________________________

As soon as I land in LA, the hot summer air fills my lungs. I haven't been here in a long time. Mom and Dad are always the ones that come to New York for the holidays. Dad loved Christmas in New York. 

I pick up my bags and start walking to where the cabs are. 

"You didn't think you wouldn't have anyone to greet you when you arrived did you?" I hear someone say from behind me. 

I turn around to see my uncle Mikey standing there with a smile on his face. 

"Uncle Mikey! What are you doing here?" I ask while hugging him

"Well, your mom called. Said that you got on a plane as quickly as you could. So I thought I would come and pick you up." 

"You didn't have to. You shouldn't be walking around so much! What about..." 

"Bah! Don't start! I'm old, I'm not invalid. If I want to pick my niece up from the airport than that's what I'll do. And who's going to stop me?" 

I can't help but smile. I missed my uncle. With everything that's been going on in my life I don't see my family as much as I want to. They tell me they understand, but I can't help but feel a heavy burden on my heart for not trying harder to see them more often. 

"Hey, hey! What's this? Why are you crying B?" He asks, cleaning my tears with his thumb.

I didn't even noticed I was crying. 

"I'm sorry. I just missed you. A lot." I say, between sobs

"Aww baby" Mikey hugs me and strokes my hair, "it's okay... It's okay. I missed you too B." 

When my sobs subside, Mikey lets me go and grabs my bag ignoring my protests

"Come on. Let's get you home." 

______________________________________________________________________________

When I arrive at my parents house, I'm greeted at the door by my mom and by my aunt Kristin. 

"We missed you B!" Says my aunt while hugging me so tightly I could hardly breath

"I missed you too aunt Kris! But I can't breath!" 

She lets go of me with a smile and steps aside so my mom can hug me,

"My darling baby. My sweet little girl! How I missed you!" She says while hugging and stroking my hair

"She's hardly a little girl now Linds" says Mikey with a smile and standing next to Kristin.

"Nonsense. She will always be my baby girl" my mom pulls away from the hug and places her hands on both side of my face, stroking my cheeks with her thumb

"I missed you too mommy. So so much!" 

"Well... You're here now. How long are you staying? Did you tell your boss?" 

"Just until after the funeral. And I asked Kellin to call the office and explain what happened" 

"And how is my handsome son in law? And what about my grandchildren?" 

"They're fine mom. I asked Kellin to stay with them while I'm here." 

"Such a lovely boy. Always so sweet to you." 

Before I could say anything else, Mikey suggests that I should go upstairs to put my bags in the guest room. He says that Uncle Frank and Uncle Ray would be arriving soon and that it would be best if I had everything organized by then. 

When everyone arrives, I'm swarmed by a wave of hugs and questions about my life and everything revolving around it. 

I helped my mom and my aunts prepare some tea and we all sit in the living room for the rest of the day, just talking to each other and reminiscing about my dad. 

A little after dinner time, everyone leaves, leaving me and my mom, alone and at peace. 

We were in the kitchen and my mom was sitting at the table watching me do the dishes. When I'm done, I turn around to face her, 

"Mom?" 

"Yes dear?" 

"How... How did dad... Died?" 

She sighed and twists her chair so that she's face to face with me, "you know your father wasn't feeling well lately... He was always very tired, wouldn't eat all that much and would sleep a lot... I guess it was just his time to go." 

"Just like that? He wasn't sick or anything! Why would he just go like that?" I can feel my eyes starting to well up with tears

"Sweetheart it's the natural order of things... Your dad had a wonderful life filled with happiness and surrounded by the people who loved him the most... It was just his time to go" 

"How can you be so calm about this?!" I shout, loosing my temper, "your husband just died and you act like you don't care! No one in this house today acted like they cared! How can everyone be so calm about this?!" 

"Bandit Lee Way! Don't you dare raise your voice at me! And don't you dare say I don't care! If there's anyone in this world that cared about your father was me! Now understand this dear. The reason why none of us, me and your uncles, are acting like its the end of the world it's because it isn't. And also because we know, that your father is now in a better place" 

"What like in heaven?" I ask sarcastically whipping the tears from my eyes

"If such a place exists, than yes. Your father is in heaven now. He had a wonderful life here, and now he will have one in the afterlife." My mom says with the most calm voice I've ever heard her use. 

I don't understand this. I don't understand why and how everyone's so calm! It's getting on my nerves! I can't stand to be here anymore. I say goodnight to my mom and run upstairs to the guest room. 

I try to sleep, but memories of my dad keep flooding my head. I keep seeing him when I was a little girl and he used to sit on the floor with me and play with my dolls. I remember sitting on his lap and watching him work while he wrote his books and drew for endless hours. 

Every memory I have of my father seems to be resurfacing from the corners of my mind. Memories I didn't even remember I had. And the more I remember, the more I cry. 

______________________________________________________________________________

It's been a week since I arrived in LA. And today is the day of the funeral. 

The ceremony was small and personal, just like my dad would've wanted it. The only people that weren't part of the family were a few friends from the Air Force and some other friends with who my dad worked with when he published his comic books. 

We're all back at the house now. My mom and my aunts are down stairs in the kitchen taking care of the food and drinks while the men all talk in the living room. I was able to escape the whole condolences part of these things by simply coming upstairs. 

The plan was to lock myself in my room and wait until everyone left to reappear. But as I was walking to it, I noticed fathers study door opened. I try to resist the urge of going inside, but curiosity, and something else I can't describe, got the best of me. 

I walk inside, immediately being hit by the familiar scent of cigarettes. The study remains the same. Walls covered with books about the most various subjects, two desks, one for his art and the other for his writing, my drawings from when I was younger hanging on the wall along side pictures of him and our family. It seems like everything in this room has stopped in time and is just waiting for my dad to just walk in and continue to do, whatever it is he was doing before... 

I go and sit down at the desk he used to use to write. Sitting in his chair makes me feel safe, like he's here, just beside me watching over me. I spin around in the chair like I used to when I was younger. My mom always hated that I did it, always telling me that one day I was going to fly out of the chair and get hurt. But my dad would encourage me and even help me spin faster until I couldn't see properly. Thinking about this made me smile a bit. 

Suddenly, the strange feeling as before came back. I feel my attention being drawned to one of the shelfs right in front of the desk. I stand up and walk towards it. I brush my fingers in the old binds, reading the titles until one in particular captures my attention. Just at eye level, was a book that had no name. It was a leather-bound brown book. I pulled it out of the shelf and start to observe it. It looks really old and worn out. I've never seen this book before. 

"Thought I might find you here" 

I jump at the voice that suddenly broke my line of thoughts. At the door stood my uncle Frank, looking quite pleased to have scared me. 

"Everyone is looking for you downstairs" he says, looking around the room

"I'm sorry I disappeared... I just needed to escape for a while..." 

"It's okay. I get it. I would want to disappear too if I was in your shoes" he says, looking down at my high heeled shoes, "although, if I was in your shoes, I would be screaming in pain right now! Seriously, how do you girls do it? That looks worse that torture!" 

I start to laugh. Uncle Frank always had a special talent for making me laugh even when I feel like the saddest person in the world. 

"What do you have there?" He asks, looking at the book I'm still holding in my hands

"Oh! It's nothing... It's just one of my dad's books. I was just curious because it doesn't have a name." 

"Let me see" he asks and I give him the book. Even before he grabbed the book, his eyes widened in surprise and his face turned white, "Where did you find this?" 

"What's wrong? What book is this?" I ask, feeling curious about his reaction

"Where was it Bandit?" His smile is completely gone

"It was just here on this shelf." I point at the empty space where the book was, "Uncle Frank, what's wrong? What's this book about?" 

"Forget you saw this book. This is none of your concern." He says, putting the book on his inside jacket pocket and leaving the study in a hurry, leaving me with a confused look on my face. 

______________________________________________________________________________

Apart from my aunts and uncles, everyone has already left. After helping cleaning the kitchen I told my mom I was going upstairs to take a shower and change my clothes. 

I was going downstairs again, after my shower, when I hear voices coming from the kitchen. It sounded like my uncles where in a hushed but heated argument about something. 

"Why should we keep it a secret? Gerard didn't do anything wrong!" I hear my aunt Jamia saying 

"Have you completely lost your mind Jamia? How do you think B would feel if we told her the truth?" I hear my uncle Ray saying 

"It's not like it's some deep dark shameful secret Ray! I think Gerard would've liked B to know about this!" My mom speaks up

"If he never told her before he died, then it's because he didn't want her to know!" Says uncle Mikey

"Maybe he never told her because he thought she was too young." Says aunt Krista

"Or maybe it's because she would never understand! How would you feel if you suddenly found out that the love of your fathers life wasn't your mother? And that if she hadn't died you wouldn't even exist?" My uncle Frank shouts

"What did you say?" I ask from the door way. I didn't even realize I got closer to the door while they were arguing 

They all jump in surprise and stare at me. You could see in their face that they were trying to come up with an excuse or an explanation.

I look around the room and see that the book I found earlier was on top of the kitchen table. 

"Is this about that book?" I ask pointing at it

"No!" Says my uncle Mikey reaching to grab it

"Yes." My mom says at the same time and placing her hands on top of Mikey's, stopping him from hiding the book

They both stare at each other, seeing who would break eye contact first

"Lindsey..." My uncle starts, but my mom cuts him off

"She's my daughter Michael. And Gerard was my husband. I think I'm in titled to tell her what I think she deserves to know about her father." 

"He's my brother! I'm not going to let you taint his memory by telling his daughter something she might not understand!" 

"Enough!" I shout, "Please! Will someone just please tell me what's going on?! What book is that?! What is it that you don't want me to know?" 

I see them all looking at each other silently debating whether or not they should do it. After a while, my mom speaks again, 

"This book is part of Gee. It's a part of his life. It's not something shameful that needs to be hidden. If Bandit hadn't found the book, we might have not be having this conversation, but the reality is that she did. And she deserves to know about her father's past." 

"Would you stop talking like I'm not here?! Can someone please tell me what the hell are you all talking about?!" I'm starting to loose my patience

"If we do this Lindsey... It will only bring up more pain. Unnecessary pain." Mikey says

"Perhaps... But she deserves to know." 

They all look back at me. I'm still standing in the doorway looking completely confused as to what's going on. 

"Take a seat sweetie. This is a long story to tell"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think about this chapter? Liked this idea of moving forward in time? How do you think Bandit is going to react when her mom tells her the story about Gerard and Margaret? 
> 
> Let me know what you think!! 
> 
> Stay safe Killjoys <3


	23. Wait for me a little while longer, my love...

They told me everything. 

Every single detail. 

About Margaret. 

About my dad. 

How they met. 

What their lives were before they met. 

How their lives were after they met. 

Her death. 

His pain. 

Needless to say that I shocked about the whole thing. For years, my father never said a word about his past. He never told me any stories about the war. Neither did my mother come to think of it. I always assumed it was because it was to painful to talk about it. I knew they lost friends. But I never imagined something like this. 

The book that caused so much trouble is in fact the journal my dad kept during the war. It was Margaret that gave it to him with the promise that he would write down everything that happened while they were apart so she could read it when they were together again. And that's exactly what my father did. He documented everything about his life from the first day he had the journal. But she never got the chance to read it. 

My family told me that for a very long time, after Margaret's death, my dad wouldn't pick up the journal to write. He hid it in a drawer never to touch it again. Uncle Mikey thinks it was because it was to painful to do it. After all, the purpose of it was for Margaret to read. But after I was born, my dad felt the sudden need to write again. And that's what he did until I got married and moved out. Mom said that he said that from now on, it wasn't his story to tell. That he had nothing more to tell. 

After my mom finished talking, I stood up and started pacing around the kitchen. My head was spinning. It was too much information. I needed some air. 

I left the kitchen and went out the front door into the front porch and sat on the small steps. It was a chilly night, even for summer, but the cold air helped me clear my head. 

Before he fell in love with my mom, my dad had been in love with someone else. His soulmate, so my family says. They were going to get married and live happily ever after. 

The word soulmate keeps echoing in my ears. Soulmate, soulmate, soulmate... I thought my parents were each other's soulmates. They were always so in love! At least I thought they were! Was it all just a lie? No, it couldn't have been a lie, otherwise it wouldn't have lasted this long! But then... if dad loved someone else, why did he marry mom? Was mom in love with him while he was in love with Margaret? And then after she died, mom made her move? No! Mom wouldn't do that! That's a horrible thought! Mom isn't like that! She would never take advantage of dad's suffering! 

But that's why they were all so calm. Now I get it. That's why my mom said that dad was now in a better place. They all believed that he was with Margaret now. His true love. Both of them reunited in the afterlife...

If Margaret hadn't died... I wouldn't exist... Or maybe I would, but I would have an older brother or sister... 

"I can see the wheels turning in your head" 

I jump in surprise and turn around to see Uncle Frank leaning on the doorway. 

"Could you stop scaring me?! Jeez!" I say turning back around to face the empty street

"Sorry kiddo..." He says, sitting down next to me and pulling out a cigarette

"Those can kill you you know?" I tell him

"If God wanted me to die, he would have killed me a long time a go" 

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't take care of your health" 

"I'm old Bandit. Let me enjoy what simple pleasures I still have" 

I stare at him from the corner of my eye. Without being able to resist, I reach for the pack and pull out a cigarette for myself. I hadn't smoke in years. I stopped when I found out I was pregnant for the first time. 

We stay in silence for a while, just staring at the dark empty street, smoking cigarette after cigarette. He's the first one to break the silence.

"Not what you were expecting to hear, was it?" 

"No... Not at all..." I say, exhaling the smoke

"I get that it's a lot to take in right now... But... This doesn't mean that Gee didn't love your mom... Or you for that matter. You were his entire life. He loved you both more than anything in this world!" 

"But what about Margaret?" I ask

"He loved Margaret too, yes. But that doesn't mean he couldn't love two people at the same time. Love comes in all shapes and sizes you know?" 

"But she was pregnant! Dad was going to propose to her on that day!" 

"Do you remember those fairytales we all used to read to you when you were a baby? The ones about true love and how everything works out in the end?" 

"What's that got to do with anything?" I ask, confused 

"Your dad and Margaret were the incomplete fairytale, but the fairytale nonetheless. They had a fairytale love. Love at first sight. But your parents, they had a different kind of love. It was love, don't ever question that. But above everything else, there was friendship. Margaret gave your father something to dream about, but your mom, Lindsey, she gave him a life. And for that, your father was forever grateful. Your mom brought your dad back from the dead over and over again when all he wanted to do was drown in a pool of misery and scotch. Your dad was dead inside, and your mom gave him something to live for. And that's why he fell in love with her. I can't tell you how many times we talked your dad out of killing himself. How many times we cleaned up after him night after night of drinking himself into unconsciousness. And through all that, Lindsey never left his side." 

I couldn't bare to look at my uncle's face while he talked. The thought of my dad wanting to end his life made my blood freeze in my veins. I just listened to all Uncle Frank had to say, without speaking a single word.

"Bandit, you better than anyone, know how long term friendships can turn into love! Look at you and Kellin! For how long were you two best friends until you both realized that there was something more growing inside your hearts? It's the same thing that happened to your parents. They spent years together before they realize what we all had already seen. They were inseparable! There were times when we all joked saying that they were attached at the hip! One wouldn't go anywhere without the other. Mikey was even a little jealous at one point! Your dad loved Margaret, yes. There's no denying it. And I'm pretty sure he died loving her as well. But never, NEVER think, for one second, that your dad didn't love you or your mother. Because he did. More than you'll ever know." 

______________________________________________________________________________

By the end of the week I left. I needed to get back to New York. I said goodbye to my family and promised that I would try to visit them more often and that the next time, I would bring the kids. 

When I arrived at the airport, Kellin and the kids were there waiting for me, holding big signs that said "Welcome Home mommy! We missed you!". I hugged them all and we went home. 

After a full day of unpacking, letting everyone know that I was back home and that I would be back at the office the next morning, organizing the house, spending time with the kids, making meals and putting the kids to bed, I was finally in my bed cuddling with the love of my life. Everything was peaceful and quiet until he asked the question I was hoping he wouldn't ask. At least not today... 

"So how did it go?" 

I sighed, "It's a very long story"

"Wanna tell me about it?" 

I sighed again and sat up, crossing my legs in front of him and grabbing a pillow. He stared at me with curious eyes. 

"Where do I even start?" 

And so I told him everything that had happened since I arrived at my parents house. Kellin listened without asking a single question until I finished talking. 

"Did you read the journal?" 

"No... Although my mom gave it me..." 

"She did?!" 

"She says it would be best if I read my father's own words... That it would make things clearer..." 

"Are you going to read it?" 

"To be honest... I'm scared to read it..." 

"Why? You already know the whole story. What more can you find out?" 

"I don't know! But what if I do find something that bothers me? My mom says that no one has ever read the journal. What if there's something in there that no one knows and I'm the one finding out? What if..." 

"B, stop." Kellin says reaching out to me and placing his hands on my shoulders, "you're overthinking things. As usual. If you're scared of reading it, then don't do it or at least wait until your not afraid anymore. And if, when you read it, you do find something that no one else knew, then you find it. I'm sure it won't be as big as the bomb you're family just dropped in your lap. But for now, just forget about it, let's get some sleep, tomorrow is a new day. Okay?" 

He smiles his reassuring smile at me. I could never resist his smile. For some reason, it always made feel like everything would be just fine no matter how hard things got. 

"Okay" I smile back to him. He pulls me to his lap and kisses me passionately. We stay like that for a few minutes just enjoying each other's warm and soft touch. We break the kiss and lay back down. We fell asleep in each other's arms.

______________________________________________________________________________

September 7th, 2015. New York. 

31 years. I received this journal 31 years ago and was always too afraid to open it and read it. 

I've carried it around with me every single day since I got it. But I never opened it. I was always too scared to see what's inside. The find out what secrets did those pages hid. My father's words. His life during the Second World War and little bit after it. 

I didn't want to find out what was written on those pages. I was to afraid of finding something more than what my family told me all those years ago. I didn't want to have to face them if I ever found out something they didn't know. 

But it didn't matter now... It's been 31 years. My family is long gone. I'm alone. Even Kellin is gone too... My love... My soulmate... Taken from me too soon... 

My children have their own life. They come to visit every now and then, but for the most part, I'm alone. 

And since I'm alone, my father's words can't hurt anyone else other than me. 

So here I am now, sitting in my small living room, staring out the window, watching the sunset over Central Park, the leatherbound journal placed in my lap. 

Taking a deep breath, I open the book and start reading the first page,

"September 30th, 1941. Oxford Military Air Base, England 

And here I thought Hell didn't exist... It does... And I'm looking at it..." 

I read the journal cover to cover without stopping for a brief second, not even to eat. When I finally lifted tear filled eyes from the old pages, it was 5am. 

I placed the journal in the coffee table in front of me and cried. 

I finally did it. I read my father's words. And now I knew everything. The entire story.

I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. When the tears ran dry, I stood up and went to my room. Not even bothering to change clothes, I climbed onto the bed and curled up in a small ball, closed my eyes and tried to sleep, with my father's last words echoing in my mind... 

                                         ___________________________

"Gerard Way's Journal  
May 15th, 1969

My darling Margaret, 

It's been a while since I last wrote to you. The pain was too much. 

But today I had to do it, no matter how much it pains me to do so. Today is an important day. Today is the last day I will ever write on this journal again. Today is the the start of a new life. 

Today, Bandit is getting married. 

It's seems like only yesterday I was holding her in my arms, a little bundle of joy wrapped in a light blue blanket. And now look at her, a beautiful woman, getting married and moving out, starting a new life... 

She's 23 now... She's the same age you were when we first met... Her fiancé is 25... My age when we met... 

It's odd... When I met you, I saw a woman, but I look at Bandit, who's the exact same age, and I still see my baby girl...

I know I'm supposed to be happy today. But I can't bring myself to feel happy. I keep looking at Bandit, and I see you my love. I see you everywhere I look today. I keep thinking that, if fate hadn't been so cruel to us, you would be here, at my side, watching our child getting married... 

But fate was cruel. Fate took you away from me too soon my love. But I promise you, we will be together again. Fate wasn't on our side in this lifetime, but it will be in the next. 

But for now, just wait for me. Wait for me at the entrance of our new life. Wait for me with our child in your arms. Wait for me, so I can hold you in my arms and kiss you one more time. Wait for me, just a little while longer my love, and then we can go home... 

 

"The Ghost of You" for Margaret and my unborn child 

I never said I'd lie and wait forever  
If I died, we'd be together  
I can't always just forget her  
But she could try

At the end of the world  
Or the last thing I see  
You are  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Could I? Should I?  
And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are never ever...  
Ever...

Get the feeling that you're never  
All alone and I remember now  
At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies  
She dies

At the end of the world  
Or the last thing I see  
You are  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Could I? Should I?  
And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me  
Never coming home   
Never coming home  
Could I? Should I?  
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me  
For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me

If I fall  
If I fall (down)

At the end of the world  
Or the last thing I see  
You are  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Could I? Should I?  
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me  
For all the ghosts that are never gonna...

 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is at last! The final chapter! I truly hope you all enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it :) 
> 
> Please let me know what you thought about this last chapter and your thoughts on the entire story :) 
> 
> Next week, I'll probably start posting a new story called "Divided", so stay tuned :) 
> 
> Stay Safe Killjoys ❤️


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